Amid SC's landmark Section 377 verdict, read six compelling coming out stories of queer Indians

The Supreme Court of India decriminalised gay sex in a landmark ruling when it struck down portions of Section 377 on 6 September 2018. It marks the culmination of a long and arduous journey for queer Indians and their allies, but there’s still quite the road ahead to be traversed in terms of social acceptance, awareness and understanding.

And for queer Indians, while coming out of the closet will no longer be legally fraught, it will continue to be a challenging personal milestone.

How should you come out? When should you come out? Who should you come out to? How do you deal with the repercussions of coming out?

Queer Indians have come up against these questions repeatedly, and have also found ways to navigate through these concerns.

In February this year, Firstpost ran a series of coming-out stories to mark the Queer Azadi Pride March in Mumbai. These stories encompassed compelling first-person accounts of coming out about your sexuality or gender to friends, loved ones, colleagues or even to yourself.

There’s equal rights activist Sonal Giani, who came to terms with her bisexuality, overcame numerous instances of discriminatory behaviour, and came out — quite publicly — on TV after participating in a reality TV show called Connected Hum Tum.

Out and Proud: Sonal Giani on how she came to terms with her sexuality, and found happiness

Then there’s Aruna Desai, mother of a gay son and fondly known as “Aruna Aunty” by the queer community for her unstinting support for the community. When her son Abhishek came out to her as gay, then asked if she hated him, Aruna’s response was to take him out for dinner, and reassure him that she’d always be proud of him. In the time since, whether it’s a couple that needs help, or parents who won’t understand their child’s point of view, Aruna Aunty helps others move gracefully through the tricky terrain of coming out.

Out and Proud: Meet Aruna Desai, mother and ally who helps young LGBTQ people to come out to their families

Bullied by some children at the age of eight for being effeminate, Pallav Patankar came home crying one day, only to be told by his mother: “Never come back crying from a fight. Always give it back to your opponents. You have to stand up for yourself.” Over time, Pallav became known for his work with the Humsafar Trust, and as one of the most forthright equal rights activists in India. And he’s always been very clear that he has no “sob stories” to narrate. This is Pallav’s story:

Out and Proud: How Pallav Patankar fought discrimination, failure to live life on his own terms

“I am and always have been a lesbian. I knew I was attracted to girls right from Class 3. Every time I had a crush on someone, it happened to be a girl. I have loved girls since the time I remember love,” says Prachi Kathale, although it was only in Class 7 that she found out that there was a name for individuals who shared her sexual preference — “lesbians”. Prachi’s battle has been a long one — from being an abandoned girl child who was later adopted by a Mumbai couple, to being raped by a relative when in Class 2, and to losing a girl she loved to cancer. Surprisingly, however, coming out to her parents was a smooth experience. If her attitude was to be described by a maxim, it is Oscar Wilde’s words that come to mind: ‘Be yourself, everyone else is taken’.

Out and Proud: Prachi Kathale, on battling abuse and grief by focusing on life’s possibilities

Praful Baweja came out to his sister first in the most undramatic way possible. But before he became comfortable talking about his sexuality with other people, he first had to understand it himself. Having dated women at one point, and wondered if he was straight or bisexual, Praful finally realised that he was gay and found tremendous support through queer groups online. As for what he’s learnt in this journey of accepting and loving himself, Praful says, “Everyone has internal struggles. Everyone hates some part of themselves. Try to win that fight. Be you. Unapologetically you. And always remember no one has the right to discriminate against you.”

Out and Proud: Praful Baweja on not holding back, and giving his all to work, love life

And then there’s Aniruddha Mahale’s moving personal account of how he came out to his mother, and how his mother came out as the parent of a gay child. Read both stories here:

To Mom, With Love

To Mum, With Love: What It Means To Come Out As The Parent Of A Gay Son