Why a Mamata victory rally closely resembles a circus

Thousands thronged the streets, screamed when the jubilant Kolkata Knight Riders held aloft the IPL trophy and then shut up the moment Mamata Banerjee told them to. When Mamata Banerjee holds any rally, whether in victory or loss, and is armed with a microphone there is a typical sequence of events one can expect.

1. You can’t tell if it’s a official felicitation programme or a school function: Mamata Banerjee told the jubilant Kolkata Knight Riders to stop dancing, stand in line, smile and walk a victory lap. She told Mukul Roy to take care of the governor, who was quickly sent off into the background for the rest of the function. Even the thousands that thronged the Eden Gardens went silent when she told them to. While television audiences may have wondered what was going on, most of Kolkata knew that this was hardly unusual.

2. When even a firecracker like SRK stands in queue like he’s going to get thrashed for talking in class: Shah Rukh cartwheeled, babbled and generally has made little sense since his team won the IPL on Sunday. But if he was looking to repeat his performance he didn’t get any chance. He tried to get Mamata to dance to a tune but was told that she could only sing, ergo she danced to no one’s tune. Shah Rukh tried scaling the fence at one point but perhaps climbed down after Didi told him to. He should have asked the ministers and other officials present at the ground. They know the protocol.

3. When there’s a clutch of little-known, and littler-funny Tollywood stars in every frame of TV cameras: Rituparna Sengupta is relatively well-known across India. But Jeet, Locket and a whole host of local celebrities who danced alongside Shah Rukh at one point led the pan-India audience viewing the event to believe they were either team members or members of the crowd who had managed to wander on the stage. Perhaps it explains why at one point Shah Rukh Khan and Juhi Chawla went off to one corner of the stage to dance alone.

4. When every sentence is punctuated with Bangla: You’d better know your Bengali when you’re watching a Mamata Banerjee organised rally. No one knows when English will suddenly change to Bengali and more importantly it could be an instruction directed at you from Didi no less.

5. When photographers do a headless chicken act: Photographers hate being told where to stand. Most functions are punctuated by shouts asking an errant photographer to sit or stay calm. But photographers in West Bengal know better than to go against Didi’s diktat. She tells them to go left, they go left. She tells them to stand still, they stand still. Perhaps seeing the Union Railway Minister doing the same alongside them takes the  sting out of following instructions.

6. When everything from the curtains, LCD display, water-bottles to the shawl being gifted is a government hospital-blue in colour: Ever since Mamata Banerjee took charge of West Bengal, Kolkata and the state no longer paint anything red and everything is blue. Kolkata Knight Riders got the blue treatment as well with blue shawls around their necks.

7. When Tagore is background music, Tagore is the speech opener, Tagore kicks Vishal-Shekhar right where it hurts the most: Whether it is an IPL victory or an election one, Mamata Banerjee believes the melodies of Tagore must be played. Shah Rukh Khan realised this when he suddenly found the team anthem abruptly pulled off, only to be replaced by a Tagore song, which he gamely attempted to dance to.