Donald Trump era: Don’t bet against trans youth, their resilience trumps any government order

As a trans person who has just entered my thirties, I look to this generation of transgender youth with pride and a little bit of wonder. I see their strength and resilience in the face of bigotry from authoritative, proper grown-ups who would prefer to see them pushed – or more accurately, crushed – into gender roles determined at birth. I see them stepping courageously into the public spotlight, as Gavin Grimm and Nicole Maines have done, knowing full well that doing so will make them targets of endless public discussion.

When I was in my teens, I didn’t know many transgender adults, nor did I see their pictures or stories in the media I consumed. In fact, it is still rare today to see the photos and stories of trans adults and elders. Photographer Jess T Dugan, whose work explores gender, sexuality and community, notes that “[r>epresentations of older transgender people are nearly absent from our culture and within artistic realms.” Trans youth, as strong as they are, must also wonder: Is there a future for me? Is this community, this country, a place where I can live with dignity, have a family, grow old? Can I, too, be part of this nation, with my whole and unbroken self?

These questions are surely on their mind today, as they and their families process the news that Trump’s administration has revoked a guidance from the Obama administration that affirmed transgender children’s rights to use school restrooms and locker rooms consistent with their gender identities. The Obama-era directive stated that these rights for trans children fall under the protective umbrella of Title IX, which prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex.

In a statement, Attorney General Jeff Sessions explained the Trump administration’s position on the matter – that the issue was best left, in their view, to state and local governments. The position offers a bone to some who would like to see trans people pushed back into the shadows. Still, by not outright attacking transgender youth but rather leaving their fates to the tides of opinion on the local and state levels, the administration is able to maintain the appearance of neutrality.

Advocates for trans youth immediately criticised the administration’s actions. Human Rights Campaign President Chad Griffen wrote, “The consequences of this decision will no doubt be heartbreaking. This isn’t a ‘states rights’ issue, it’s a civil rights issue.” The National Center for Transgender Equality called the 2016 guidance “a life-saving policy.”

And they may be right. Affirming schools offer many benefits to trans youth. A supportive environment drastically reduces the risk of attempted suicide, depression, low self-esteem and other risk factors, according to research by Grant et al. (2011) and Travers et al. (2012), among many others. Most crucially, affirming schools help trans youth by supporting their authenticity and agency as they grow into confident, healthy adults.

And this is a pivotal moment for sustaining those powerful qualities. When I was growing up, transgender children still mostly hid their true selves, coming out as trans only in adulthood when they learned from other trans people that the happiness they had dreamed of – the joy that comes from living authentically – was, in fact, possible for them as well. Much has changed since then. Today, trans people are coming out earlier and earlier, eliminating years of pain and struggle.

In 2010, I helped to lead a creative workshop for transgender youth and their families. As we worked, Director Susan Maasch of Trans Youth Equality Foundation led the youth in vibrant discussions of their challenges and victories as trans kids.

Through these conversations, I learned that these were passionate, resilient youth who wanted to express themselves and attend school without fuss. They were proud to be a little different but didn’t think that being trans was their most important quality. They imagined a world where kids and adults like themselves would be free to exist openly, and they had big dreams for their futures. Some of them were already experienced advocates who had dealt with school bureaucracies, legal battles and other adult issues with grace and perseverance.

Yet again and again, I heard about families with transgender kids who were forced to relocate in secrecy to avoid harassment from other parents in the community. I listened to stories of childhoods preoccupied with legal battles and the stresses of harassment and family separation. What experiences forcing these families move across the state, seeking relief from harassment? What issue was so critical, so earth-shattering, as to make these kids’ lives into objects of public scrutiny and fear?

The answer is, of course, is simply that these children wanted to walk easily and without fear into the restroom that best matched their gender identity. Often, these young people had come out to their parents a few years prior and had begun the highly personal process of social gender transition. Finally, they were able to dress the way they wanted to and hear a name and pronoun on others’ lips that matched their self-awareness. Often, other children were quick to accept them. Adults in the community, however, were thrown into a panic with disastrous consequences.

There is a phrase that is very apt here, and it comes not from social science but from agriculture. To lead by the nose is to control another person so as to get that person to do what one wants; it especially refers to a way of doing this that conceals one’s true intentions. In agriculture, leading by the nose – literally guiding an animal by pulling on a nose ring threaded through the septum – is a way to control even large and dangerous animals by exerting pressure on a sensitive area.

Unfortunately, otherwise smart and savvy adults have been led by the nose when it comes to trans children. There are adults who fear these smart and courageous kids; adults who don’t want them to grow up proud, strong, and ready to take the world by storm. These frightened adults spread myths that imply that trans people pose a danger to the things most precious to us: Our culture, our children, and our way of life. These sacred things and people are our most sensitive area, and when fear tugs on them, we tend to follow where we’re led, just like the powerful bull who can be tamed by anyone who has him by the nose.

Driven by this fear, otherwise reasonable adults have whipped entire school districts into a panic over which bathroom a transgender child will use. What ought to be a personal matter to be decided by the child and supportive family members has been blown into a “safety” issue that adults, led by their fears, imagine poses a threat to their own children. The issue of bathroom use is so inconsequential to bystanders – and so personal – that we ought to be embarrassed for those adults who parade the controversy on the national stage as then next big scare; the trumped-up fear of gender mixing used as a weapon against kids who pose no threat and have no ulterior agenda.

However, if I had to bet on the outcome, I’d always bet on the trans kids. Their resilience and grace has strengthened them through challenging times, and many are already changing the world before their 18th birthday. This setback cannot ultimately stand up to their principled, determined vision.

As 17-year old trans youth advocate Gavin Grimm said to a crowd gathered outside the White House last week, “We will stand with and protect trans youth. No matter what happens, no one, not even the government, can defeat a community so full of life, color, diversity and most importantly, love.”

The author is a writer, editor, web designer and artist living in Maine.