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Don't fall for the penis enlargement claims, love your package for what it is

Dear Ms K,

Is there a natural way of growing penis?

Yours,

Shorty

Dear Shorty,

Like I told my mother when she asked me to clean my room yesterday, “That’ll be a negative, Houston.” Most scientific research has not found any conclusive evidence in the after-effects of naturopathic medicine or exercises recommended by quacks and websites for penis enlargement. Don’t listen to the magazines that’ll try to tell you otherwise. They are mere victims of their monthly sales quota and would like to play on your insecurities and sell you stuff. Ergo, face wash for HIM because, well, obviously it’s better than the one for HER. Never mind the fact that skin type isn’t related to which sexual organ you’re packing.

While I’m not sure of the exact size of your penis, my suggestion would be to not subject it to self-rejection. It is archaic to see your penis’ length as a symbol of virility and power because it will damage your self-esteem and affect the sexual dynamic with your partner. In truth size and girth have a minimal part to play where a healthy sex life is concerned. The knock-knock-who’s-there motions at the cervix’s door aren’t the gateway to a fulfilled orgasm for you or your female partner. Research indicates that it is all about ze friction, not length.

Love your penis the way it is. If you don’t feel comfortable with it, your partner won’t either. If your insecurity is a by-product of societal norms and mainstream porn, then let me be your saviour: Most women feel great sex is a result of good chemistry and rhythmic movement.

There are also various sexual positions (read: doggy style) that you can attempt with your partner. The next round of good news is that your penis will be a deep-throat enthusiasts dream come true, i.e. more blow jobs. Rub that into your friends’ faces the next time they brag about their measuring tapes.

 Dont fall for the penis enlargement claims, love your package for what it is

Courtesy: Agency

Some men also suffer from a micropenis (meaning your erect penis is smaller than 7cm) and vaginal penetration can be difficult for them. If you feel that you’re one of them, do contact your physician to receive psychological and medical advice.

For what it’s worth, even I keep getting daily reminders in my inbox asking me to enlarge my penis. But I am a bigger person and have learnt to spam that regular onslaught. I would hope that you too can find it in you to put the mainstream ‘big is better’ banter into your mental spam folder. Don’t be consumed with augmenting a body part that is sexually functioning and healthy.

Apologies if you were expecting a ginseng concoction or a stretch-it-out-everyday recommendation, but I’m afraid it’s a dead-end, sweetheart. I do sympathize with your predicament and can understand the temptation to supersize your penis, especially the part where you send its selfie to your fraternity pack and proclaim world dominance. But as they say on Twitter, such is life.

For the crowd that’s been brainwashed to boast about their penis size like it’s a direct product of their hard-work, Grace Robinson’s here to set them straight — "It’s a penis and not a Pulitzer. Spare us the proud parent act and actually accomplish something worth bragging about." Bringing another person to orgasm is a nice, reachable goal to start with.

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Updated Date: Aug 06, 2014 15:40:24 IST