Whither Uggie: Why Bollywood doesn't like dogs

By Sharan Saikumar

If you’ve seen The Artist, you’ve probably come out of the theatre saying: Wow. What an actor. And then there were those who came out and said: Wow. What a dog! I confess I did the latter. I suspect there are several other idiots like me, drooling over dogs when we should be drooling over Jean Dujardin. And when we read the Bombay Times listing of top showbiz mutts like Mylo and Snowy this morning we longingly wondered — when will we have own hero doggie?

The answer is probably never. Going by our track record we may never get a chance to see a dog , cat or even a mouse in a headline role with an A list Bolly star. Haathi Mere Saathi happened in 1971 and then Jackie Shroff did Teri Meherbaniyan in 1985. And then we were done. Two movies in the last thirty years is our cinematic ode to the intense relationships that can exist between man and beast . And only one of them is with his supposed best friend. For perspective, Hollywood has 60. And those are only the good ones.

Every film director must know that having a cute dog cocking his ears at the camera is a sure recipe for success. They don’t have to look any further than Vodafone’s Pug for proof. Dogs are everywhere in advertising — from Priyanka Chopra’s arms to the Raymond guys’ lawns and yet they never hit our movie screens.

Bollywood seems to believe that while we like Tuffy playing cupid in Hum Apke Hain Kaun, none of us is going to sit through three hours of a man bonding with his dog – even if you throw in Ranbir Kapoor as an item number. They may be right. The reaction to the question on whether you’ve watched the wonderful Chillar Party is often, ‘Kutte ka picture kaun dekhega?’

Consider this: In the hit movie Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na mourning for the heroines’ dead cat is the opening joke. In Marley & Me the death of the dog is the cinematic climax. That captures the big difference in our attitude to pets. In the West, weaker human contact, incomplete families and fractured relationships makes for stronger bonds with and a higher reliance on dogs. This is why they get a brave and loyal Hachi in their movies. For us they exist at the borderlines of over-populated family and friend networks. This is why we get a gimmicky and slightly nauseating Tuffy in ours.

But times are changing. Families are getting smaller, lives are getting insular, fourteen song movies are dead, and dogs are finally becoming our best friends. Books like Dog Stories chronicle their roles as guardian angels, social bees, enthusiastic foodies, brave heroes and travel buddies, exploring the many ways in which this irreplaceable species touches our lives. Our movies will soon follow suit. It’s our time for inspiring stories of love and loyalty. Of friendship and companionship. Of heroism and healing. It’s time for the desi Marley and Lassie. And we certainly hope it’s time to say bye to Tuffy.