Internet, aeroplanes and plastic surgery: A salute to Indian politicians and their efforts to take back Science

The letters in the words Biplab Deb, when rearranged, form “Pi Blabbed”. While blabbed refers to revealing secrets, Pi has something to do with science, according to media reports. Given this information, the newly-elected Tripura chief minister surely lives up to his name. Addressing a local event in Tripura, Deb claimed  (or rather, revealed) on Tuesday that the internet is not a modern technology propelled by modern science, but had existed since the Mahabharata era. via GIPHY “The internet was invented by India lakhs of years ago, not by the United States or other western nations,” Deb claimed in his speech. “Many may disagree but if the internet was not there, how could Sanjaya see the war in Kurukshetra, and describe it to Dhritarashtra? It means the internet was there, that satellites and such technology were there in this country at that time,” Deb ~said~ revealed.

People watching live Mahabharata fight event on ancient Laptop (827 BCE) pic.twitter.com/zB7i8apiqt

— Limes Of India (@LimesOfIndia) April 18, 2018

Now only the most unreasonably cynical among us would doubt the chief minister’s words, especially after a series of revelations by other politicians who also revealed how most of today’s technologies already existed in the times of Mahabharata and Ramayana, from plastic surgery and aeroplanes to nuclear tests and the  cure for cancer. Some of Deb’s colleagues in the party also found gaping holes in theories proposed by western scientists Isaac Newton and Charles Darwin . It is a case of life imitating art, the three people who trust these politicians but do not believe the Mahabharata actually took place would say. Following this trend, we at FP Special Forces decided to help our politicians and point out other instances where western technologies pretend to be modern but are actually borrowed entirely from our scriptures: **Vibranium in Black Panther: ** The whole concept of an all-powerful metal which can stop bullets and arrows as seen in the Marvel movie was borrowed from depictions of wars in the Mahabharata, where different gods used shields to protect themselves from myriad weapons. So much for T’Challa and the great Wakandan secret. Acupuncture: First think of that form of alternative medicine in which thin needles are inserted into the body to relieve pain. Now think of the tale where Bhishma handed down the Vishnu Sahasranama to Yudhishthira when he was on his death bed of arrows, in the battle of Kurukshetra. Coincidence? Jetpack: When Hanuman reached the fabled Medicine Mountain but still could not find the magic healing herb, he wrapped his arms around the whole mountain, pulled it out of the ground and and flew back with the mountain to Lanka. That is proof that jetpacks — devices that modern technology has come up with which use jets of gas to propel the wearer through the air — existed tens of thousands of years ago. Growing extra body parts: An increasing number of genetic scientists are exploring molecular cues that could allow humans to regrow arms and legs, while others are rewiring frogs to see if humans can grow extra limbs. Remember someone with 10 heads in Ramayana? Hiding in the sky: Following Meghnad’s skills of deftly hiding in the clouds when under enemy fire, the United States, using western technology, has come up with decades of research to build fighter jets that can can stay off the radar amid clouds over the enemy territory.