Chetan Chauhan is right man for NIFT, he knows short leg, long leg, fine leg...

It is silly to argue Chetan Chauhan doesn’t know anything about fashion technology. Any gentleman who has spent his life as the third man wondering about deep fine, long and square leg automatically gets qualified.

After all, fashion designing, to rephrase what Anna Kournikova once said, is the art of finding the shortest skirt for the longest leg.

Count Chauhan in.

Think about it, Chauhan’s entire life has been dedicated to fashion. In his youth, he had his own style that, like all good clothes, was neither loud, nor flamboyant, so much so that it really got any attention. Whatever be the circumstances or the stage of the game, he presented a straight bat, played lovely defensive shots to fielders and, like an old-fashioned gentleman, didn’t bother scorers much. Never the one to score a century or score at a fast clip, ever the bowler’s batsman with a great defensive technique.

And then, when limited over games caught the world’s fancy, Chauhan, like bell-bottoms, quickly became out of fashion, confining himself to the domestic circuit. Later, when wearing the politician’s hat became the fashion for B-listers of his age, he joined the BJP, won two elections, lost the next three, retired with a hurt pride and, since then, followed on like a valued accessory to many A-listers in the party.

You think cricketers can’t handle fashion. Well, anybody who has spent his life as a fashion meister would tell you this: If you know how to cut it fine, you can fit it fine. And, boy, Chauhan could really play those delicate cuts past point when he notched up an impressive average of 31.57 as an opener. R Ashwin with an average of 31.68 as a tailender would really be fancying his chances as the next head of NIFT.

Oh, yes, Chauhan is also a nationalist. He deserves the NIFT also for a nifty decision he took several years ago on the cricket field to salvage India’s pride and prove his nationalist credentials.

In 1981, his skipper Sunil Gavaskar was given out LBW to a Dennis Lillee delivery at Melbourne. Unhappy with the decision, Gavaskar asked his partner, the new NIFT chief, to walk-out with him. But Chauhan took a quick decision on the spot and stayed on the ground, saving India from embarrassment and Gavaskar from some serious punishment. India went on to win the Test and level that series, giving Indians several Bharat-Mata-Ki-Jai moments. It is another matter that after returning from that tour, Chauhan never played for India again — nudge, nudge, wink, was Gavaskar behind this? But, just for making India proud in Melbourne, he deserves the honour.

Finally, one of the important things taught at NIFT is what to with leather. Who better than a batsman to send scholars on a leather hunt? With such great credentials as a courtier, er, couturier, wonder what’s the brouhaha about Chauhan becoming head of National Institute of Fashion Technology (NIFT)!

Especially when Chauhan is upfront about why he has been selected. “This is a Government of India appointment. The names (for the post of chairman) are sent by the Ministry of Textiles…preference is given to people in the party (BJP),” he told The Indian Express.

To assume merit and experience are the primary qualifications for a job is a downright silly point. Success, contemporary India and its reigning poster boys–Pahlaj Nihalani, Gajendra Chauhan et al– will teach you, is being at the right place, in the right company at the right time, just like a fielder on the cricket field.

Meanwhile, if you can polish some balls, keep them shining, it helps.