Experience: What not to say to someone with migraine

I don’t remember exactly when I had my first attack. What I do remember is that I was in the 12th standard in boarding school and popping headache pills almost every day. One day, while going home for Diwali, I looked out of the bus window and “felt” (rather than saw) blind spots in my vision.

This was the first time I had experienced an aura. (I didn’t know this at the time.) The blind spots scared me. To make matters worse, the left half of my body started to get numb. Throbbing pain took hold of my head. At that moment, all I wanted to do was to reach home and throw up.

Back at home, doctors gave me a life-altering diagnosis: I had a combination of classical migraine and hemiplegic migraine.

I have been living with migraines since I was 16-years-old and I know they can flare up at unfortunate and inopportune times. Like, in the middle of my final-year university exam.  

When I get migraines, it impedes my speech. I lose track of the time - as you can imagine, I couldn’t tell my final-year examiner why I hadn’t even managed to write my name on the exam paper.

I am sometimes racked by guilt when I have to change plans with friends or family members due to a sudden migraine attack. I cannot drive or sit in the front seat of a car after dusk - the brightness of the headlights triggers my migraine. I cannot stay up until late or go to clubs where there is loud music. I have been on - and off - antidepressants for my migraine for nine years.

I don’t have many complaints, though (I am a dental surgeon now). The minor frustrations that I do have, have to do with the random, sometimes insensitive, things people say to me. I am sharing my experiences here in the hope that it will help you deal more sensitively with a loved one, a colleague, a friend, or even a stranger on a bus who’s living with this health condition.

What not to say

1. It’s just a headache, I get them all the time.

Migraine is not just a regular headache. Mine usually starts with an aura - blinding spots in my vision. Next, I get a throbbing headache that makes me want to throw up.

But that’s just my experience with migraine - some people may not get an aura or nausea and still have a migraine.

2. Hey, you’re still lying in bed? It’s been a whole day!

Migraine does not go away in an hour or two. Sometimes a migraine headache can last up to three days.

3. Let’s go out and grab something to eat. It will make you feel better!

A dark, quiet room is perhaps the best refuge during the headache phase of a migraine attack because it removes all external factors like light and sound that can make the attack worse.

4. Are you getting the aura? If not, then it’s not migraine!

There are different types of migraine. Some of them don’t have the aura as a classic symptom. For example, common migraine does not include aura formation but it is accompanied by nausea, vomiting and throbbing headache.

5. Doesn’t a migraine happen on only one side of the head?

Not all migraines present on one side of the head. Headaches can be present on the vertex (top of the head) or both the temples or the entire head.

This article was written by Dr Sonia Bhatt, a dental surgeon associated with myUpchar.

Health articles in Firstpost are written by myUpchar.com, India’s first and biggest resource for verified medical information. At myUpchar, researchers and journalists work with doctors to bring you information on all things health. For more information, please read our article on   Migraine: Types and Treatment _._