 "Love on Hire: What is Vietnam’s ‘rent-a-boyfriend’ trend?")
For decades, society has imposed a specific age for most things in life such as careers, marriage, and having children.
In many societies, family expectations often place pressure on young adults. Vietnamese women, however, have found a way to deal with the stress of marriage.
According to a report by the South China Morning Post (SCMP), the trend of renting boyfriends has become increasingly popular. This approach helps women avoid the stigma of being single, particularly during family events like the Lunar New Year in Vietnam.
The rising popularity of this practice is a result of family pressure on young people to marry and start families. By choosing this alternative, women can manage the expectations without committing to marriage.
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How Vietnamese women are renting boyfriends
A growing number of women are turning to services that offer rented boyfriends to satisfy family pressures around marriage and relationships.
Minh Thu, a 30-year-old professional from northern Vietnam, resorted to this practice after her parents demanded she bring a boyfriend home for the Lunar New Year. Single for five years due to her demanding career, she faced pressure when her parents faked illness and expressed their desire for grandchildren.
Thu paid several million Vietnamese dong (a few hundred US dollars) to hire a man five years her senior to act as her boyfriend, Vietnamese media outlet VnExpress reported. They prepared by exchanging family details and developing an “emotional connection” before the visit.
Her hired partner, skilled in domestic chores and social interactions, impressed her family. “On the day he came to my house, he helped my mum cook and chatted with my relatives. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my parents so happy and proud of me,” Thu told SCMP.
Khanh Ngoc had a similar experience when she rented a younger, attractive man who successfully won over her parents. “Since then, my relationship with my parents has improved,” she said.
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Huy Tuan, a 25-year-old from Hanoi, has been working as a “fake boyfriend” for over a year. Tuan said that he invests in his appearance and skills, including going to the gym, learning to cook, and improving his singing and conversational abilities, to meet his clients’ expectations.
Tuan limits himself to three to four clients a month to ensure quality service, he told SCMP. For him, the rates for a coffee date or shopping trip start at a few hundred thousand Vietnamese dong (US$10–$20), while family meetings cost about 1 million Vietnamese dong (US$40).
In most cases, rental contracts prohibit emotional involvement and sexual harassment.
Notably, this practice reflects the cultural emphasis on marriage in Vietnam, where parents often equate their children’s single status with a failure in parenting. The pressure is then fueled by their desire for grandchildren while they are still able to help raise them.
How risky is this practice?
The practice of renting boyfriends, while addressing immediate family pressures, can have major risks, according to experts. Emotional repercussions are a primary concern.
Nguyen Thanh Nga, a researcher at the Academy of Journalism and Communication in Vietnam, told SCMP, “If exposed, families could experience significant emotional damage and lose trust. Additionally, renting a partner is not legally protected in Vietnam, so women should be especially cautious.”
Sociologist Dr Pham Thi Thuy also stated that the trend reflects deeper issues in family communication.
“Marriage should follow the children’s plans, but it is often forced to fit their parents’ schedule,” she told VnExpress.
The lack of alignment between parental expectations and children’s life choices frequently leads to conflicts, and hiring a fake partner may offer only a temporary solution to a broader societal issue.
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How does this trend work?
The trend of renting boyfriends has gained attention through social media platforms, which serve as hubs where women can connect with men offering temporary relationship services.
According to a forum administrator overseeing a group with over 20,000 members, the practice is popular during family-focused celebrations like the Lunar New Year, when parental pressure to settle down rises.
One social media observer told SCMP, “Marrying without a successful career just leads to a lot of problems. Renting a partner is a win-win – it makes your parents happy and alleviates pressure on you.”
However, not everyone agrees. Another commenter said, “I can’t imagine how heartbreaking it would be for parents to find out it was a lie.”
Notably, this practice is not confined to Vietnam, it is also popular in China, where marriage rates are hitting record lows. In the first half of this year, only 3.43 million marriages were registered in China, marking the lowest figure in a decade.
Many young Chinese opt to rent partners during major festivals like the Mid-Autumn Festival and Lunar New Year, with daily fees typically around 1,000 yuan (US$140).
With inputs from agencies
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