Forget candlelight dinners and long walks, Americans now believe there’s much more that makes dating more captivating.
In the whirlwind world of romance, a centuries-old practice is making a comeback: hypergamy.
This trend, where individuals seek partners of higher socioeconomic status than themselves, is becoming increasingly prominent in the US. While this concept of courting someone from a higher status is a major focal point for many series, books, and history, it is very much also happening in the real world.
But what drives this age-old practice in today’s context and what does it reveal about modern-day dating? Let’s take a closer look
What is Hypergamy?
Hypergamy is the act of marrying or dating someone you think is more successful and/or secure than you—whether you do it consciously or subconsciously, Alysha Jeney, licensed marriage and family therapist and owner of Modern Love Counseling told The Cosmopolitan.
“This can often be due to the desire to want to achieve financial security or to boost reputation. It can also be due to the desire to seek a ‘higher level’ of self-worth and identity,” she told the magazine.
A survey conducted by Talker Research and commissioned by luxury dating site Seeking.com, revealed that 41 per cent of participants believe it is acceptable to showcase their success and affluence on a first date. Whereas, 31 per cent consider financial success attractive, with almost 4 in 10 (39 per cent) believing that finding a partner with hypergamic traits can significantly impact their personal growth and self-discovery.
Emma Hathorn, in-house dating and relationships expert at Seeking.com remarked that when people are looking to forge meaningful connections and relationships, they tend to look for partners who can match their intellect and share similar ambitions in life.
Impact Shorts
More Shorts“Showcasing those ambitions and treating dates to a taste of luxury sets the bar for the relationship, it is time to say goodbye to ordinary dating. People want to find themselves elevated — both in the conversation itself, and by being treated to something tailored to them, exclusively,” she added.
A survey found that the concept was initially unfamiliar to 43 per cent of 2,000 Americans who participated in the survey but once explained, 47 per cent expressed a positive view of hypergamy.
What is considered ’luxury’ in dating?
The poll delved into the preferences and values of adults when it comes to dating, revealing that nearly half of the respondents (47 per cent) consider a date to be “luxurious” if it involves getting to know their partner’s background and engaging in deep, intelligent conversations.
Moreover, 39 per cent of those surveyed believed in the idea of a “luxurious” date when the other person pays for the entire experience.
Talking about the feeling of being “swept off their feet”, it still remains a pivotal aspect of dating for many individuals, with 65 per cent of respondents stating that this feeling was crucial. Alarmingly, 35 per cent of people believe that if they don’t experience this feeling on a first date, the relationship is likely doomed.
The survey also shed light on specific traits that people find attractive in their dates. A significant 80 per cent are drawn to self-confidence, 75 per cent admire those who take pride in their accomplishments, and 73 per cent appreciate when their date goes “above and beyond” to make the first date special.
The survey also revealed people find it attractive when others indicate traits of a better standard of living.
Over four in 10 (42 per cent) found having financial stability and being able to cook well as highly attractive traits. They also found having a nice home (24 per cent), having a cultured taste in music (21 per cent) and having a good fashion sense (20 per cent) round out the list of desirable attributes.
With input from agencies