Delhi women unite on Valentine's Day to call for end to violence

“Valentine’s Day is a day for love and if we really love the women in our lives – our mothers, sisters, friends, colleagues – celebrating Valentine’s Day the way we are today is the best way to show it,” said Bijaya Laxminanda, assistant professor at Miranda House – one among the over 700 participants at Delhi’s One Billion Rising event on Thursday.

The event was held as part of a global show of strength against violence on women, called for by American author and playwright Eve Ensler (of Vagina Monologues fame), across 194 countries on Valentine’s Day.

New Delhi’s event which took place at Parliament Street saw at least 700 participants, with some men but mostly women in attendance. The program saw a dance to the song ‘Jaago Re Jaago Dilli Jaago’ (Rise up Rise Up Delhi Rise Up), street plays and poetry narrations by students of colleges across Delhi – among them Lady Shriram College and Miranda House.

Most participants wore pink headbands which said “No more violence against women” and waved flags that said, “Enough! I will not tolerate violence.”

One participant, Nandini Gupta, a BA honors student at Lady Shriram College said she despised the fact that women had to even think twice before doing what they wanted to. Many of Nandini’s friends who wanted to be at the event to show support for the cause were unable to attend because “they live very far and it would be a problem for them to go back home”.

“Why should we live in a situation where we have to think so much before doing anything? If we lived in a safe and respectful society, would anyone fear the consequences of staying back late?” she asked.

She said that while the law must be strict, the problem of violence comes from our mentality to discriminate between a son and a daughter from the time they are born. “Why should only sons go to school, while daughters are kept at home to learn housekeeping skills? Why should fathers dominate mothers and mothers just submit? Why should it be ok for a woman to bear violence from her husband, just because she’s married to him?” Nandini asked.

“I am here today because I don’t want to keep quite and suffer anymore. I want to break the silence against violence,” Pragati Verma, a political science student at LSR told Firstpost. Pragati is of the view that the problem lies in us not just being a patriarchal society, but also perpetuating it – women included.

“Women are also the cause of patriarchy. Mothers differentiating against her daughter and her son, bringing up her daughters to only be a housewife and not an independent woman and allowing sons to always get first right of food and education,” she said. “Instead of these values, if mothers would instill in their sons moral values, respect for women and equality of women our society would be a much better place. We must all learn to be and preach humanity and morality,” she said.

Pragati told Firstpost that the significance of showing solidarity with other women on Valentine’s Day holds more significance to her than celebrating with her friends gifting each other flowers and cards. “Being someone’s valentine is secondary. If I am not safe and respected, how can I celebrate Valentine’s Day in its truest sense?” she asks.

Another History honors student at Delhi University, Anubha Singh, said she was at the ‘One Billion Rising’ event to be one with the cause of women’s rights and empowerment and be part of the system that is against the dominance of women by men.

“Just like charity begins at home, respect for women too begins at home. The idea that men are superior to women should be stymied from childhood itself because if boys see their sisters and women of their family being mistreated, they become men who think it’s normal to think of and treat women as if they are inferior,” Anubha said.

Anubha said that celebrating Valentine’s Day at the One Billion Rising event is her way of showing love to her society, to its women and giving her the due respect she deserves. “I’m here to support the sentiment of love and respect towards women, because if women are respected and loved, we will truly have a civil society,” Anubha said.

Teachers like Bijaya Laxminanda of Miranda House, who was leading a 200 student delegation at the event, said such events are important to change the discourse of talk and mentality. “It is a very important forum as it is a place where young people can talk openly about themselves, their experiences, their ideas about bodily integrity and also about domestic and other forms of violence towards them,” she said.

Women should say no to violence; and men too should stand up for women because they must know that patriarchy dehumanizes them too, she added.

The Miranda House delegation of students participated in a poetry session where each of them wrote poems based on their understanding, experiences and hopes for women’s place in society.

Suman Bharti, a Political Science honors student from Miranda House – and also the General Secretary of the Women’s Development Cell at Delhi University wrote a poem which metaphorised women as ‘Gleaming Fireflies’ – who exist, glow, are ever present and sustain society.

Listen to her talk about her poem and what it means on the audio below:

Suman believes that change has to come from the youth. “They are the string that binds the older generations and the future ones to come. They need to be mobilized because they will be the ones to bring about the change in mindset, to bridge the gap between the patriarchal mentality of oppression towards women and the new mentality that women are lesser than none,” she said.

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, Suman said, we need to love in a manner where every man and woman can celebrate without fear and with respect. “The way we think about love must be reinvented. It must be one that unifies. One that celebrates being human – which means being both, man and woman,” she said.