Imran Khan is Pakistan's 22nd prime minister: We help him choose the rest of his team
Keeping in mind that Imran would not terribly mind other sportsmen in his team, we have scoured the earth to find him a few good men for Pakistan's Cabinet.
Imran Khan became the 22nd Prime Minister of Pakistan, after having taken oath in a glittering ceremony earlier this week.
Navjot Singh Sidhu was in attendance — along with a smattering of other guests who are probably still wondering who that strange man was — who kept laughing uproariously at everything Imran Khan said or did. "I, Imran Khan," one presumes the Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaaf (PTI) chief said, at which Sidhu slapped his haunches, wiped a tear, yelled out a 'Chak de Phatte', and hugged the man next to him.
— ANI (@ANI) August 18, 2018
But now that the formalities of actually being sworn in are done, the new prime minister can focus on the actual task at hand: Finding people who can put govern in government.
In this endeavour, we at Special Forces are always at hand. Keeping in mind that Imran — himself a fine cricketer in his prime — would not terribly mind other sportsmen in his team, we have scoured the earth to find him a few good men.
PMO spokesman: Inzamam-ul-Haq
No matter how the government performs, Imran will always have someone to tell the world, "The boys played well."
Deputy PMO spokesman: Rameez Raja
For the times Imran needs "The boys played well" to be told in 54,768 words.
Defence minister: Mohammad Yousuf
Remember the times even Anil Kumble gave up after a long and unending series of dot balls? Yousuf brought his dour personality to cricket, and will bring it to Imran's Cabinet as well.
Defence minister, independent charge: Riz Ahmed
For his sublime performance in Four Lions.
Home minister: Wasim Akram
He can swing in both ways, and Imran will need that plenty.
Youth Affairs minister: Shahid Afridi
When you think he's down and out, he sends you a WhatsApp forward saying he's not retiring, once again. And he is still aged 25. The youth in a not-so-young Pakistan can do with some BOOM BOOM.
Information and Broadcasting minister: Shoaib Akhtar
Given how often the press in Pakistan tries to break out of censorship, some sharp bouncers may just solve the problem.
Minorities affairs minister: Danish Kaneria
Because who else?
Finance Minister: Mohammad Amir
After a minor glitch in a transaction back in 2011, and the subsequent reprimand, we believe young Amir has learnt his lesson. Now he can be trusted with knowing how to get the money in without causing much discomfort.
Culture minister: Taher Shah
Only a person who knows real music would realise what it means to preserve the arts.
Minister for water and sanitation: Arshad Khan
Don't know him? You must've seen him.
Slowly pouring tea in a crowded Islamabad market was enough to make Khan an overnight global sensation, and helped him realise his modelling dreams. We are sure he will be just as good with water too, and will look damn good doing it.
And in conclusion, we believe Imran Khan should keep External Affairs with himself.
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