Banality of evil: Why Bollywood and society need to stop trivialising, normalising, rationalising stalking

Stalking is one of the most blatant and under addressed themes, as a genre of sexual harassment; and even glorified as an act of heroism in Bollywood movies. Sexual harassment does not simply pertain to inappropriate touch and the physical manifestations of sexual desires, but also encompasses indirect methods. Stalking is one of the largest of these indirect methods, which is often branded as one’s ’efforts’ to ‘impress’ the other, be it male or female. Stalking constitutes obsessive compulsive styles of ’loving’ another person, and invades the victim’s physical as well as emotional privacy. Bollywood tropes wherein a lovestruck boy persistently pursues and repeatedly attempts to woo a girl is no novel concept. The man continually chases the woman until she finally agrees and settles for him. The real problem is the fact that it is so blatant, rampant and overused, to the extent that it is normalised. It might seem like a desperate and pure hearted attempt to get better at expressing one’s true love to the other at the surface level, but is nothing more than a problematic romanticisation of ‘implied’ consent. The problem is subtle: it makes its way into our minds, subconsciously altering our thought process, breeding potential for malicious crimes to take place. The solution would seem to be a direct and firm expression of a ’no’, would it not? The roots of the problem are welded far deeper than a communication gap. Even when there is a clear refusal to play along to the whims and fancies of the so called lovestruck men, the “yes” is taken as a yes, and the “no” is also taken as a yes, under the illusion of “hasee toh phasee” ( she laughs,so it’s a yes) or “ek ladki ke naa me bhi haan hoti hai" (the no of a girl is also a yes). This not only strips the victim of the ‘right’ to complain, but is also accompanied by negative aspersions cast on the girl’s character. Never are the obsessive stalkers at fault, it is always either the clothes, the slim waist, or other body parts that are casually hypersexualised in the media. Movies such as Ranjhana and Kabir Singh are apt examples of the same. Taking a micro perspective at Bollywood tropes, one of the very first things that comes to our minds as an inalienable aspect of parties and other celebratory occasions, is music. While music certainly serves to lighten up the atmosphere of the occasion, we seldom make an effort to understand the appropriateness of the lyrics and the context for which it was originally meant. The fan-service and popularity of “item" songs are just as problematic; perhaps far worse in terms of their porosity into the minds of the unassuming consumers. Starting with the very discourse itself, does not an “item” song seek to objectify women, simply by the nature of its nomenclature? Moreover, the cinematography and costume designs in music videos feed into the visual aspect of the system, giving rise to not only sexualisation and objectification of women, but also unrealistic body standards that branch out into a whole different set of problems, a story for next time.   Consider taking a step back and understanding what lyrics such as “Khali peeli khali peeli rokne ka nahi / Tera peechha karoon toh tokne ka nahin" signal to the audience? These are the very songs we dance to,owing to their catchy tune, trivialising the matter, but imbibing them in our mindset nonetheless.   The ugly part about stalking, is that the impact is felt by the victim, while there is no material proof in most cases for the perpetrator to be charged criminally. An uncomfortable gaze, following someone on the same path without direct contact, making inappropriate statements, are not, and cannot be recorded majority of the times, making it a far more serious problem than something like violence that can be accounted for and dealt with, using material and visible evidence.   A person who is stalked, may or may not be in constant physical proximity with the perpetrator, but the potential of harm is never zero, the constant threat to safety wears the person down mentally, leading to psychologically damaging experiences, including PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), acute anxiety, depression, agoraphobia and refusal to step out of the house due to fear. This brings me to a quote by POSH advocate Aileen Marques, “The impact is more important than the intent.” Someone might not have supposedly “intended” to make the victim feel uncomfortable, but the actual “impact” it had on them is far more crucial. It is unfortunate that although legislatures and laws have been put in place to deal with issues of stalking, factors like societal stigma and involvement with legal and bureaucratic procedures still stand as a wall in the path of those seeking remedy, from something as disturbing as stalking. It is high time stalking is recognised as a non bailable and non cognisable offence, because the repercussions of what may initially seem to be a harmless activity, could endanger lives, if it goes unchecked. Also, Bollywood needs to stop trivialising, normalising and rationalising stalking. The author, a multi-faceted student, is an avid commentator on various topical issues. Views expressed are personal.

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