Air India urination case: Why a female passenger never pees on a man

In Bangalore, WhatsApp group of my urban, single women’s community, there is an animated discussion on the horrendous incident of a mid-air conflict where a drunken man urinated on a female business class passenger on 26 November on a New York-Delhi-bound Air India aircraft. When the lights were turned off after lunch, the drunken man walked over to the victim’s seat. He then unzipped his pants and showed her his private parts and reportedly stayed there even after peeing until one of his fellow passengers urged him to leave. The culprit walked out of the plane sans being questioned. However, weeks later, the incident was brought to light when the female passenger who was harassed on the plane wrote to Tata Group Chairman N Chandrasekharan, expressing her ire with the cabin crew’s insensitivity to the issue. After the incident resurfaced, an Air India official said in a statement, “Air India constituted an internal committee in this incident and recommended to put the male passenger on ‘no-fly list’, the matter is under government committee and decision is awaited.” An Air India official also stated, “The passenger has been banned from flying with Air India for 30 days or till the decision of the internal committee, whichever is earlier. If found guilty, action will be taken against the unruly passenger as per regulatory guidelines.” ‘How come a female passenger never pees on a man? We never hear the reverse and imagine that for this behaviour – what does a man get? A thirty-day ban?’ The question – though far-fetched is pertinent and valid. Ten days after the shocking 26 November incident comes yet another episode of a “drunk” male passenger allegedly “urinating” on a blanket of a female passenger that was reported on the Paris-Delhi sector, but penal action was not pressed after the passenger gave a written apology, officials claimed on 5 January, 2023. This incident happened on 6 December on an Air India flight 142 and the pilot of the aircraft reported the matter to the Air Traffic Control (ATC) at the Indira Gandhi International (IGI) Airport about it, following which the male passenger was apprehended. The flight landed around 9:40 a.m. in the national capital and the airport security was informed that the male passenger was “under the influence of alcohol and he was not following the instructions of the cabin crew and he later peed on a blanket of an onboard lady passenger”, airport officials reported to PTI. The male passenger was apprehended by the Central Industrial Security Force (CISF) as soon as he deboarded the plane but was later allowed to leave after the two passengers had a “mutual compromise” and the accused tendered a “written apology”, they said. The lady passenger, who had initially made a written complaint, refused to file a police case and hence the passenger was allowed to go by the airport security after he cleared immigration and customs formalities, it was added. The Delhi police has now registered an FIR in the November case, based on a complaint by the victim to Air India, and has formed several teams to nab the accused. As an Indian woman who has suffered and witnessed the drunken revelry and rage of her desi counterpart and been shamed and judged and taunted for not drinking (even socially) till a few years ago – the back to back, Air India incidents honestly do not come as a surprise or shock. Also, while we, Indian women rightfully are up in arms against the average male of this country – a Guardian London report dated 2017 claimed the number of passengers arrested for drunken behaviour on flights or at UK airports had increased by 50% way back in 2017. There were a total of 387 arrests in the year to February 2017, up from 255 in the period from February 2015 to 2016, according to statistics obtained by BBC1’s Panorama. The Guardian piece quoted Ally Murphy, former Virgin Airlines cabin crew manager, who told Panorama: “People just see us as barmaids in the sky. I was pulled into an upper-class bed by a passenger who was feeling particularly lucky, I guess. They would touch your breasts, or they’d touch your buttocks or your legs, or I’ve had hands going up my skirt before. It’s rage inducing and you shouldn’t have to deal with that.” Almost anyone reading this piece and who has flown international routes where drinks are served – will vouch for the rowdiness of men aboard such flights – tired men, angry men, lustful men, bored men, entitled men, arrogant men, sex starved men, powerful men, successful men, sleep deprived men – the inverted relationship of male pride and misogyny with alcohol and the testosterone high that it brings – an accentuated sexual arousal and the misinformed feeling that it is absolutely alright to pee, puke, say obnoxious things/make passes at women/pick women up/be dismissive/make false promises or even engage in illicit sex, that is then passed over to being ‘drunk and wanting to get laid,’ touch women, even initiate lustful sex or make inappropriate sexual innuendoes, forget or oversee boundaries (even in intimate relationships) makes it almost legitimate for men to get away with zero accountability, while projecting a fake bravado for passing out, dead drunk, or, behave like a complete, overgrown, privileged fools with women –act garrulous, speak slurred or loudly, engage in rowdy, drunken brawls and consume drugs sans a care to add to the intoxication – drinking in men is a bonding exercise – after work as part of the big boys’ clubs, on celebratory nights/trips with their male friends, labelled as boys’ nights out that often end up in smoke filled bars with nights of sozzled, secret sex escapades that are conveniently then blamed on been hung over and how – in popular culture where men are shown drinking socially and loudly – while women tamely fry onion pakodas and quieten bawling infants – men have always been known to ‘enjoy their drinks’ – a woman enjoying hers, is seen as mostly the sign of a broken heart or as a deviant, loose cannon. A female drunk is a raging, sad alcoholic who is even labelled as drinking herself to death – aka yesteryears’ actor, like Meena Kumari – while a male drunk – well, he’s a jolly good fellow. In October 2022, and in a similar incident, a Turkish Airline passenger got inebriated and aggressive and reportedly, ended up biting the finger of one of the flight attendants. The incident was caught on camera and the video went viral on the internet. The incident took place on a flight from Istanbul to Jakarta. Because of the passenger’s aggressive behaviour under the influence of alcohol, the plane had to be diverted. A 2022 study by the medical journal Lancet showed that there has been an increase in alcohol consumption in India over the last three decades. The analysis by Lancet showed consumption was the highest among men in the age group of 40-64 years, in which alcohol consumption has increased by 5.63 per cent since 1990, followed by the 15-39 age group with a jump of 5.24 per cent. For the elderly it has increased by 2.88 per cent. I once remember declining a drink at an office party and being literally ragged and called a ‘boring teetotaller.’ The fact that I was heading the organisation and as you may have guessed – one of the few women on top – the expectation was that I drink – and act like the men I was now equal to and had overtaken. I once remember being prude shamed by an intimate partner because I did not wish to have sex with a sozzled man whose breath stank of nicotine and beer. My first boyfriend was a raging alcoholic and truth be told, I am scared of men becoming violent under a drunken stupor. I share this and he scoffed – ‘not all men are rapists!’ I once remember being asked to get into a car which was being driven by a friend who had consumed a lot of alcohol – and made it a point to brag how once he got into the car and sat behind a steering wheel – he was absolutely ‘safe’. I once remember being lured into sex by a married man who kept offering me the choicest of drinks – asking me to ‘loosen up,’ and ‘take a chill pill’. ‘C’mon, a pretty woman like you – a bombshell – can’t keep saying no to the pleasures of life.’ I once remember my mother telling me how my biological father drank every evening with his male friends who insisted that their wives also share in the ‘fun’. My mother, was shamed the same way. Ridiculed for her strict convent school upbringing and even forced on occasion to ‘try’ – anything – a drink, a smoke, weed. ‘No means no,’ is not just for sex. Consent is a mindset. Coercion of any kind should be a legally punishable offence. Also, the definition of having fun or being a fun person or saying no to anything, or, knowing where to stop, is not a pious, morality debate. It is the fundamental right of a woman to choose what she chooses. And, where the line is drawn. Period! The writer is the best-selling author, Sita’s Curse, Status Single, Leading columnist on gender & sexuality, Community Founder – Status Single, India’s first and only community for 75 million single Indian women. Views expressed are personal.  Read all the  Latest News ,  Trending News ,  Cricket News ,  Bollywood News , India News  and  Entertainment News  here. Follow us on  Facebook,  Twitter and  Instagram.