Chappal culture: Why slippering and other corporal punishments are destructive

Talking of harsh punishments, Chappal se maar padegi ab (you will be beaten up with slippers), is symptomatic of how elders in Indian households often use punishment as a means to rein in errant behaviour. The chappal culture or slippering is deeply ingrained in the desi parenting we commonly get to observe in Indian families that attempt to ‘fix’ their child’s seemingly behaviour or attitude. Far from fostering, it only contributes to a toxic, destructive and anxiety-laden environment for the growing child, during adolescence. Punishment is an inalienable part of parenting, complete lack of which is a fundamentally flawed approach that upsets a natural balance of learning from a variety of contradicting experiences. Using both the carrot to reward and the stick to punish, when needed, have long been viewed as the correct approach to promote good behaviour amongst children, especially teenagers, during their formative years. Punishment is a necessity at times, but what must be kept in mind, is to use methods that are truly effective and most importantly, humane. Talking of punishment, consistency and immediate application are key determinants of its effectiveness, but this should not be the reason to apply it to a context of corporal punishments. The line between punishment and slippering is a very fuzzy one, with the former transitioning into the latter effortlessly. Slippering, among other forms of corporal punishments, proves to be counterproductive and grossly deviates from the intended purpose of correcting behaviour. Corporal punishments are most likely to occur in an authoritative parenting style setup, drawing from the ideas of the famous developmental psychologist, Diana Baumrind. Authoritative parenting demands unquestioned obedience from the children with little to no flexibility in self-expression or self-regulation in the children. When slippering is used, the parent becomes one to be feared and shunned, rather than one who provides comfort and protection. While slippering does not necessarily injure the child or leave visible marks, the psychological effects persist into adulthood, that might eventually change the way a child perceives the world around them. Another point to be noted is that, albeit resilience is an innate human capacity, it is nonetheless not a free pass to aggress children in the name of discipline. Discipline should not be destructive or a harsh tool to coerce people into conforming. Rather, discipline or any form of punishment should be a means to correct, to reform and to help people to “fall in line”, without ever having to “cross the line”, in wanting people to do so. Speaking from a psychological perspective, slippering and other forms of corporal punishment, work to reinforce violence as an acceptable way of mcodelling. Modelling is a technique discerned by Canadian-American psychologist Albert Bandura, wherein an observer observes one or more behaviours performed by a model and imitates it in due course of time. Children who observe or are a victim of corporal punishment score high on a tendency to exhibit violence in a similar fashion, amongst peers, strangers or adults themselves. Furthermore, touching upon the cycle of violence hypothesis, a theory which, as its name suggests, states that the abuse and neglect children suffer, predisposes them as adults to abuse and neglect their own children, having been trapped earlier, in a vicious cycle of abuse. Eventually, children tend to pass on what they inherit from their parents and the cycle continues likewise. Corporal punishment, especially on a regular basis, (the aforementioned consistency), drives children into a shell, makes them withdraw from parents, extending to withdrawal from peers, further into social issues as adolescents and adults. Closing off inside one’s own ‘shell’ tends to be the coping mechanism since resistance and being vocal about it does not seem like a plausible course of action for most, under the effect of fear and authority that envelopes the child. Babies too, as you would perhaps not expect, are unknowingly victims of rough handling. Not something commonly observed but neither known to a lot of people, it would be apt to mention the ‘shaken baby syndrome’ here. Babies, as we know, are extremely delicate, particularly the head and neck area. Although not done with an intent to harm or overtly punish, babies are often shaken violently, perhaps due to frustration or anger, giving rise to the “shaken baby syndrome”. Shaking infants or toddlers, causes their brains to rotate within the skull, leading to blood vessel ruptures and demolition of intricate neural connections. This eventually translates into severe long term medical problems such as physical disabilities, behavior disorders and sometimes even death of the infant. Predictively looking at it, these children are susceptible to even more problems in the future. Those with physical disabilities are more prone to social stigma, harassment and mental agony. Those with behaviour disorders, particularly those that go undiagnosed, might incur the wrath of their parents and peers even more, due to the illusion of them being deliberately rebellious, emotionally unstable and uncooperative. It is imperative to be cognizant of these consequences in order to put practices and methods in place for a safer environment for children. Taking a step back from the gloomy and abrasive side of punishment, let us now focus on more sound, alternative methods that we can implement with children instead of terrorising them for their mistakes. The first step in achieving peaceful resolution to children’s mistakes is to equip ourselves with the basic understanding that children do not function on the same cognitive level as adults do. They cannot distinguish right from wrong, much less the reason why they must repent for their actions. Inductive disciplinary techniques tackle precisely this gap in intellectual thinking, ‘inducing’ desired behaviour within the children by appealing to their reasoning and sense of fairness. Inductive techniques are proven to be the most effective in getting children to comply with parental standards of behaviour. They work by aiming at arousing empathy for the victim as well as placing guilt on the wrongdoer. Consider this: Suzy picks up a packet of candies at the local supermarket and keeps it with herself without telling her mother. Is she wrong? Most certainly. Would slapping or yelling help her realise her mistake? Most probably not. Her mama appeals to her reasoning by asking her whether the shopkeeper would be upset if he lost money for the packet of candies which he is working so hard to earn. Suzy agrees that he would indeed be sad. Further, her mama asks her would she not be sad too if she were to lose money as a shopkeeper if someone took things without paying for them. With this conversation, Suzy understands taking things without permission is wrong, feels guilty for her actions and is prompted to apologise and go return the candies to the store. A simple, effective and efficient means of disciplining children. Temporary withdrawal of love, reprimands and removal of privileges are other constructive methods that can be used. In addition to physical punishments, psychological punishments must be avoided too, which comprise yelling/ screaming, threatening to hit, swearing/ cursing at the child, threatening to send the child out of the house and calling the child dumb or lazy, which in turn, repeatedly manifest into adverse psychological issues later in life. Punishments must be aimed at eliciting compliance rather than fright and the faster we empathise with this thought process, the better we can communicate with children, making our society worth living in. Today’s children are tomorrow’s adults and today’s adults were yesterday’s children. That being so, the only way to build a safer and more secure future which is enabling rather than demotivating in spirit, is to ensure that discipline and respect for the law are encouraged, without disrespecting and abusing the very process of how compliance is enforced. Lastly, as John Ruskin has said, “Punishment is the last and the least effective instrument in the hands of the legislator for the prevention of crime.” Yashee Jha, a multi-faceted student, is an avid commentator on various topical issues Read all the Latest News , Trending News ,  Cricket News , Bollywood News , India News and Entertainment News here. Follow us on Facebook , Twitter and Instagram .