Wake up to Bru and read bad copy

Yesterday, Bru urged readers of three editions of the Sunday Times of India to ‘Wake up and smell the coffee’. The half page ad on the front page was laid out as a normal newspaper section, with faux articles all linked to Bru coffee. “Nation looks forward to 100% aroma”, screams one headline. “A wave of 100% aroma sweeps north” says another. “Finally, someone delivers their 100%”, says a third. For those who missed it, here’s the ad. [caption id=“attachment_218566” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“The Bru ad.”]  [/caption] “The snippets above are creative work and are to be enjoyed with 100% coffee which has 100% aroma”, the small print in the ad says, in case you, the reader, thought the snippets were genuine news pieces selected by the editor of The Times of India. So we have the layout, placed dominantly on the front page of The Times of India, and we have, as part of the ad, three articles which, one presumes, extol the virtues of Bru, the 100% coffee. In addition, one learns, readers should have been overcome, thanks to a technological innovation, by the aroma of 100% Bru coffee the moment they picked up the paper. It’s only this morning that one learned of the innovation. I read physical copies of both the Bengaluru and Mumbai editions — and failed to be overcome by the aroma. Since I didn’t smell the 100% coffee, I read 100% of the copy. I was overcome by the quality of the copy. “My fellow Indians, it’s the fundamental right of each one of us, to have access to 100% pure coffee, and it’s aroma,” says a sentence in the first snippet. There was no fundamental right to have a comma after ‘us’ and have a comma before ‘and’ I would have thought. Another magnificent sentence reads as follows: “Thanks, to the promise of providing 100% aroma.” Huh? I’m 100% confused. Elsewhere, a politician ‘hits the nail right on the spot’. But that’s nitpicking. The 100% revulsion with the copy is in the use of ‘though’, in the use of which the copywriters demonstrate 100% ignorance of grammar. “Though there was some dissent, amongst a few members of the opposition, but it was swiftly snubbed by their party leader,” says another sentence. ‘Though’ and ‘but’? Dissent that is snubbed? “Though on the face of it, the major populace is enjoying the weather change, but the authorities are of a different opinion,” says another snippet. The major populace reading this copy is not enjoying the mauling of the English language. A third rape of the word ‘though’. “Though on the contrary, in another press gathering, the environmental activists believe that it will increase the number of polar bears at the North Pole.” Though the creators of this magnificent piece of communication wanted readers to smell the 100% aroma of Bru, but people like me read the 100% appalling copy. 100% carelessness by the agency and by Bru. 100% waste of good money.