Kashmiri students in New Delhi observe Bakri Eid away from home: 'Suffering has become our normal'

Text by Anvisha Manral | Photographs by Akshay Kapoor

A group of Kashmiri students observed Bakrid festivities on 12 August at Jantar Mantar, New Delhi, away from home. Organised by Faiq Faizan, the gathering saw a band of authors, journalists, and artists come together as a mark of support and solidarity with students who could not be with their families in Jammu and Kashmir for the festival in the aftermath of the abrogation of Article 370. As the valley struggles to return to normalcy in the face of a massive security and communication lockdown, young Kashmiris, some of whom have not spoken to their parents in more than a week, stepped out with their boxes of food.

Here are the accounts of some people who were part of the gathering:

Mannat Shuja

“A mass protest organised at Jantar Mantar against the atrocities happening in Jammu and Kashmir left a big impact, and the message was clear: people are extremely hurt and carry in themselves a feeling of betrayal, shocked by the revocation of article 370 and the trauma that has followed. Surrounded by people with a similar story, Kashmiris also gained support from a lot of non-Kashmiris that came out. Not being able to talk to their family for more than a week brought loneliness and tears. Amidst this, people shared food which was being provided with the intention to fill their hearts with happiness instead of fear, and to create a sense of belongingness. Trying to find happiness during Eid when you don’t know about (the well being of) your family and friends is certainly baffling. A quest to find answers to our questions and a democratic way to peace was paved yesterday.”

Anonymous

“My mother’s retirement is scheduled for 30 August, 2019. We had a huge celebration planned back home but now I don’t know how they are or how they celebrated Eid. For the first time in my life, I was unable to wish my parents on this day. Leave the Eid and retirement celebrations aside, I am worried how my parents are managing as they are both BP patients. I have no idea how they’re keeping up.”

Faiq Faizan

“Let them feel it’s Eid.”

Sharika Amin

“Eid is [all about> family, long hugs, sweets, feasting all day long and lots of love. And this Eid, we had nothing. This was not Eid! We feel deprived, to communicate, to consent, to dissent, to celebrate and hence we mourn. We mourn the undemocratic and inhumane state of things. Kashmir is more than a piece of land; it is made of people who have families. I have a family. And that should not be forgotten.”

Juvaria

“It’s always difficult to spend Eid alone but to spend it under tyranny makes it torturous. To imagine that you cannot even wish your people Eid without the permission and approval of the State is frightening because it makes one reflect on the nature of the State we are living under and the amount of power it holds, uses and abuses in ways that makes life distressful for people. I don’t know what lies ahead but I’m sure the consequences of everything, every move and every reaction will have to be faced by an ordinary Kashmiri, by the ones who have been rendered invisible in this entire fiasco. And when we talk about Eid after the meddling of 370, we should also remember that Eids before this have also not been celebrated with convenience and utmost happiness with the state of affairs by the Kashmiris. But unease and difficulty have slipped themselves into our daily routine in a way that suffering has become our normal. We should look at this Eid in the context of the history of our struggle and recognise that this is only one more injustice added to the accounts of our history. If this doesn’t make people realise how we have been repeatedly failed and how it has always been a handful of people who have always decided for us, then I don’t know what will.”

Saba Dewan

“There was sadness and anguish at Jantar Mantar. It was a sombre gathering of people who wanted to reach out to young Kashmiri students who were grieving. In many ways, it reminded me of another gathering of people which too was suffused with sadness, when in 2017 people had got together to protest mob lynchings in the immediate aftermath of the killing of young Junaid. What is happening with Kashmiris is also #NotInMyName.”

Abu Sufiyan

“Last year I devoted three days of Eid to those affected by the floods in Kerala. This year I want to express my support and solidarity for Kashmiri youth who are away from their families. I was in Srinagar for three days during the blackout and was unable to contact my family. I can understand their pain.”

Qamar Choudhary

Muqamal nahi hui Eid meri Eidi mein tera milna baaki hai Maa Tere sang baatein karna, hasna, khilna, baaqi hai Maa Baaqi hai tere godh mein sar rakh ke rona abhi Tujhe dekhna, kuch na kehna, honthon ka silna, baaqi hai Maa.

Tera phone karke mujhko jagana Ghar ki baatein batana Apne hathon se Eid ka khana khilana Mujhe dukh mein hasana, baaqi hai Maa.

Behnon ka mujhse pyar karna Iss din ko mera intezaar karna Abke jo na honge saath toh Eid kaisi Par tum dukhon ka na izhaar karna.

Mubarak din hai dua dena Main dard mein hoon dawa dena Main hoon bohot dara hua Maa aake galey laga le na.

Mujhe pakwaan shahi nahi chahiye Ye dehshat o tabahi nahi chahiye Tum rakh lo sari daulatein Mujhe ghar se judai nahi chahiye.

Meri Maa se baat kara de koi Mujhe maut se jaga de koi Hain wo zinda bhi ya nahi Mujhe itna bas bata de koi.

Youn toh na zindagi mera imtehaan le Ya mila mujhe apno se, ya meri aake jaan le.

Koi mile toh meri Maa se kehna Theek hoon Main Mujhe yaad aate hain aap, rota hoon main Aapko hi har pal sochte hota hoon main Mujhe nahi hai yaad shab o subah ka rishta Jab thak haar jaun toh kabhi sota houn main. Kehna mujhe waqt pe khana khana yaad nahi rehta Kahin aana jana yaad nahi rehta Maine chhorh di hai zidd aur roothna bhi, Mujhe kisi ka manana yaad nahi rehta (ke ab koi manane wala nahi, paas bithane, khilane wala nahi) Par theek hoon main.

Abba se kehna Main ab jawab nahi mangta Koi bade khwaab nahi mangta Bas ek nazar aapko dekh loon Koi dost o ehbaab nahi mangta.

Ki ab koi rahaat nahi rahi Koi justju, koi chahat nahi rahi Par theek houn main.

Mere chhote se bateje Rumi se kehna Ki haan mujhse wadakhilafi hui Ke main tere liye naye kapde lata, sajata tujhe Godh mein utha ke sang ghumata tujhe Mera tujhe chumna baaqi hai, tera mujhe chumna baaqi hai.

Muqammal nahi hui Eid meri Eidi mein tera milna baaqi hai Maa.