Dr Kanhaiya Kumar, I presume: Veer Sena leader confuses PhD for MBBS

Jawaharlal Nehru University Student Union (JNUSU) president Kanhaiya Kumar has been called nearly every name under the sun. ‘Anti-national’, ’terrorist’, ‘separatist’, ‘rabble-rouser’… the list is virtually endless. We say ’nearly’ and ‘virtually’ for two reasons: Firstly, no one on the news desk can recall at this time whether or not anyone ever referred to him as Zenobia or Shaniqua. And secondly, because he has never been referred to as a doctor… until now, that is. But first, a bit of background. The man whose tortured visage adorned our television screens for a large part of this year is set to make his first public address in Mumbai on Saturday. The fairly obscure Veer Sena and a group of fellow right-wing organisations have taken it upon themselves to apparently prevent Kanhaiya from ‘spoiling the city’s atmosphere’, with their vow to stop him. In a press conference organised by the Hindu Janjagruti Samitee, Veer Sena leader Niranjan Pal made the usual noises about Kanhaiya being ‘anti-national’, shouting ‘slogans against the country’ and how his address could ‘create (a) law and order situation in the city’. Then things took a turn for the bizarre. “Kanhaiya who threatened to break the country is trying to become a doctor by completing his PhD,” said Niranjan, adding, “I do not know how will he provide service to his patients, diagnose them and carry out operations.”

When alerted to the fact that Kanhaiya is actually pursuing a PhD in African Studies and not an MBBS, the Veer Sena leader was unmoved, and likely unconvinced that it should make any difference. Sure enough, The Hindu quoted a nonchalant Niranjan as asking, “So? He will become a doctor anyway and patients will approach him.” These statements have undoubtedly earned Niranjan ridicule from all quarters, so instead of joining the chorus, we’d like to help him out with a list of other doctors. Here goes… Dr Manmohan Singh: Anaesthesiologist Dr Mahesh Sharma: Sexologist Dr Ratan Tata: Neurologist  Dr Shashi Tharoor: Psychiatrist Dr Vijay Mallya: Proctologist There’s plenty more, but we think you get the idea. Oh, The Hindu also quoted Vaibhav Raut of Hindu Govansh Raksha Samiti as saying, “According to us he (Kanhaiya) should not be allowed to live in India.” Thanks for that(!) As if enough doctors weren’t leaving India already.