Firstpost Golden Chikoos of 2011: And the winner is...

It’s that time of the year. The new year is around the corner and lists, lists, and more lists abound. Best, worst, most notable, blah, blah, blah. We too have our very own Firstpost list but not the usual kind. This very special year requires its own very special categories to capture its insanity. The unceasing parade of dancing politicos, fasting septuagenarians, World Cup ecstasy, silky sirens and celebrity spawn have made it one hell of a year (and it ain’t over yet). Here then is our tribute to all those who made 2011 truly memorable. Foot in mouth award: Digvijay Singh Diggy Raja is the knockout winner for trying to link both Anna and the Mumbai blasts to the RSS, and dissing poor MMS as “a fairly good prime minister.” Honourable mention for Kapil Sibal and Manish Tiwari who proved that every Congresswala facing a television camera in 2011 was driven by the same simple motto: How can I make it worse? The Con de Nasty travel award: Tihar Ashram Once the haunt of murderers, rapists, and other lowlife, this humble penitentiary got a much-needed makeover in 2011 as the new stomping ground of the very rich. No air-conditioning but we hear the pottery classes are to die for. [caption id=“attachment_164012” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“Firstpost Chikoos 2011.”] [/caption] Most expensive midlife meltdown: Ra One The 100-plus crore self-indulgence managed to annoy critics, offend Tamilians and disappoint the audience, all at the same time. Aging gracelessly has never been more expensive, or in such bad taste. Worst fashion faux pas: Baba Ramdev The poor swamiji paid a high price for breaking the ultimate fashion rule: Never run from the police in a salwar kameez. Life is a drag when you’re trying to wrap a dupatta around your beard. Weight, weight, you love me award: Vidya Balan In a year where ann shan was hugely in vogue – with everyone from Narendra Modi to Nitin Gadkari jumping in the fray – only silky Vidya stood out by boldly embracing her inner fatty to far sexier effect. Moral of the story: visual feast trumps political famine. Art is dead award: Mamata’s paintings The death of MF Husain was tough, but the lowest blow for Indian art in 2011 was Mamata Banerjee’s sell-out exhibition . When the likes of Jagmohan Dalmiya et al paid over a crore for sit-and-draw etches, it marked a whole new low for ‘political art.’ Verbal incontinence award: Anna Hazare Annaji’s 19-day maun vrat was remarkable for many reasons, most of all because it didn’t stop him talking, and incessantly so. Silence has never spoken in such large volumes. The Arundhati Roy award: Arvind Kejriwal No one can do moral outrage quite like Ms Roy. So who better suited to inherit her mantle than Kejriwal, he of the permanently furrowed brow of fury. Honourable mention for the chappal and thapad wielding aam aadmi who found that violence does indeed pay for those 15 minutes of fame. Silent night award: Metallica concert in Gurgaon Metallica’s big Indian debut was the quietest ever for a heavy metal group. Cancelled for “technical reasons,” it left pissed off fans singing their own version of Seek and Destroy! Best botox commercial: India’s Most Desirable Every middle-aged girl’s best friend found itself the perfect brand ambassador in Simi Grewal, aka Kiki. That frozen brow and clown-like smile made her otherwise banal show memorable for all the undesirable reasons. [fpgallery id=358] Best political item number: Kiran Bedi and Sushma Swaraj Be it Kiran Bedi’s freaky nautanki in Ram Lila or Sushma Swaraj’s jig on our beloved Bapuji’s samadhi, this year our leaders decided to unleash their inner chammak challo – to most unfortunate effect. Ignoble Peace Prize: Meira Kumar Nobody invoked peace with as much tenacity as the hapless Speaker Meira Kumar. Her “Shant ho jaiye…” refrain became the stuff of parliamentary legend even if it had zero effect on zero hour. 140 Characters of Embarrassment: Amitabh Bachchan on Ash’s pregnancy When Big B fell over himself to tweet the bahu’s pregnancy, he pipped his own son to the post. Worse, our favourite buddha erased the baby’s baap from existence. The “joy of the first Bachchan coming after my brother and me”? Oops! Wet paint award: Rahul Gandhi Rahul Gandhi’s speech to the parliament revealed his secret campaign strategy: to bore us all into submission. With the UP elections round the corner – and many more such speeches in store – Indians find themselves burdened with a national pastime every bit as exciting as watching paint dry. Dumb and dumber award: MMS for arresting Anna Hazare Dear Manmohan Singh gave unfortunate credence to all those Sardarji jokes when he threw the 74-year-old Gandhian behind bars. Or was this just political hara-kiri at its finest? All good warriors also know when to throw themselves on the sword. One big yawn award: IPL season After the World Cup high, we realised there is such a thing as too much cricket thanks to the Indian Premiere League. Then again, those IPL tickets were a whole lot cheaper than paying Rs 15000 to watch a bunch of Formula One cars whiz right by. My name is red award: Vijay Mallya The colour of those tight air hostesses uniforms gained unfortunate significance when Kingfisher plunged into bankruptcy. The company’s new motto: We fly the good times – and cancel half our flights in the bad. Heartbreak hotel award: Jayalalitha and Sasikala Ooh la la. Jayalalithaa and Sasikala abruptly ended a two decade long friendship when Amma asked her bosom buddy to move out lock, stock and barrel. We just have to wait for someone to make it into a dirty picture. Asli mard award: The middle aged bachelorette Single girls have never had it so good since Sex and the City. The Amma-Didi twin punch delivered more girl power than any Women’s Reservation bill. Too bad Mayawati was too busy building white elephant parks to pitch in. Enough, already award: Kolaveri Di It’s fun, it’s catchy, it’s novel. But all the Kolaveri Di remixes, knock-offs, tributes have turned it into Kolaveri Done-to-death. Do we really have to watch Sonu Nigam’s son sing it? Name in vain award: Corruption/Anna Corruption was God, and Anna his equally invoked prophet. Everyone wanted to cash in on the anti-corruption mantra – from over-animated TV anchors to KBC’s Shuklaji to T-shirt vendors. In 2011, blasphemy was just another word for branding.

Firstpost Golden Chikoos of 2011: And the winner is...

Who cares about the Bharat Ratna. Firstpost announces the winners of the prestigious Golden Chikoo awards dedicated to recognising the truly Indian achievements of 2011.

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