Clothes are not the problem, men are

Our commenters, wrote us some strong, smart comments to the article titled – It’s not about the right to wear, but the right thing to do – which we have now published as a separate post. They point out that it’s not about a particular place that should define what women wear, rather it’s about the culture and the way men look at women. As is our policy, we have edited out a few sentences that were directed at the author. Archana Pai Kulkarni: If a person from Virar shifts to Bandra, will there be a paradigm shift in his outlook? What is appropriate or right is surely relative, born out of conditioning, the way we are brought up, the mores in the type of social set-up in which we move about? Is the author then suggesting that a girl in a mini-skirt is more likely to be raped in Virar than in South Mumbai, because the outrage generates lust? Should she stick to wearing mini-skirts only in South Mumbai? Also, is the male libido more in control in South Mumbai than it is in Jogeshwari? Do we have statistics to support that supposition? [caption id=“attachment_172351” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“It all depends on people and culture. Reuters”]  [/caption] What happens if a potential rapist from, say, Jogeshwari East travels to South Mumbai? Will his mindset change just because he’s in a place where minis are a norm? Is it kosher for such a man to unleash his libido on a mini-skirt sporting girl on his home-ground? Do we then conclude that because wearing mini-skirts is scandalous in these god-knows-why-they’ve-been-chosen-as-examples suburbs, the chances of rape in these areas will be high and even justified? Are incidences of rape actually higher in ‘such’ areas? Statistics, someone? Should women who want to wear mini skirts shift to South Mumbai and assume that men from Jogeshwari will not follow suit? What should be the desirable length of the mini-skirt? How many inches above the knee will the Jogeshwari resident find appropriate? Do all Jogeshwari residents think alike? Or will there be differences among them regarding the length of the skirt and its appropriateness? How about our very traditional Indian sari worn five inches below the navel, with a blouse that exposes almost all of the back? Is that not provocative, because it’s traditional and Indian? So, do Indian men from the suburbs think of women in western clothes as objects and therefore, fit for rape? I think the author should walk the by-lanes of Jogeshwari and Virar and see for himself the huge number of women sporting the sari in a bold avatar. Is the author from South Mumbai or Virar? I ask because his own reaction will depend upon where he lives, right? Are education, awareness and a broadening of outlook are unheard of? Does the writer have a dress code for men too, both from South Mumbai and Virar? Is it okay for a Virar guy to wear a ‘banian’ and shorts in public? It must be. After all, women are not given to prescribing dress codes for men. They have better things to do. And they wouldn’t dream of raping the man, whatever he wears. So, it’s not the mini that needs to be restrained, it is the wild, uncouth male libido and the objectification of women—whether we are in South Mumbai or Virar. Get it? No Nonsense : I disagree with the author and many others who have commented on the article. Its one thing to dress in a certain way while visiting a relative and its a personal choice that people make. How can you even suggest that women change their dressing sense as they move northwards in Mumbai? If South Mumbai can accept a mini skirt so can Virar. And if a woman has a right to dress the way she likes, everyone who is judging her based on that is infringing on her right. To expect a woman to change the way she dresses based on the reaction it may cause among men, is yet again an indicator of male dominance in this society. Meeta2000: Adivasis in India used to go topless. In fact adivasis in Karjat and Kasara used to wear small dhoti type cloth and a choli. Kolis used to wear choli and small navvari. Even navvarri is not being worn as it is considered sexy. Kerala women either used to go topless or wear a lungi and blouse. Rajasthan women used to wear backless cholis.Bhils gonds and santhals never wore blouses. Men in villages always wore small tiny dhotis while working and rarely wore shirts. And when all traditional attire was worn in India that definitely is much more sexy and appealing than mini skirts and bikinis there was less crime and people stood up when someone harassed women or children. The new breed of Indians that want everyone covered uo in gol sarees and pant shirts have their brains in some wrong place therefore such suggestions on safety of individuals. wiseman: It all depends on people and culture, the size of a dress has nothing to do with it. I am tired of this Indian culture nonsense, as if the whole of India has one single culture. I come from North-East and girls there dress in a manner that would be considered outrageous in the rest of India, still the reported number of assaults on women are far lower than the country’s average. Women are highly respected there unlike North India.