Booze, beedis and birds? Here's what BJP MLA Gyandev Ahuja discovered hidden on the JNU campus

It’s a rare occasion when the word ‘bizarre’ falls short of conveying the sheer ridiculousness of a situation. This is one such situation. The Indian Express reported that BJP MLA from Ramgarh in Rajasthan’s Alwar district, Gyandev Ahuja exposed one of the biggest cover-ups in the JNU crisis. According to Ahuja, “2,000 Indian and foreign liquor bottles are found daily in JNU”, along with over 10,000 ‘butts of cigarettes’ and 4,000 ‘pieces of beedis’. It gets worse: Fifty thousand ‘big and small pieces of bones’, 2,000 ‘wrappers of chips and namkeen’ are also procured from the campus on a daily basis. But worst of all, 3,000 used condoms found there everyday and 500 ‘abortion syringes’, reflect to Ahuja “the misdeeds they commit with our sisters and daughters there”. The identity of the ’they’ to whom he refers is as ambiguous as it is mind-boggling — think about it; if they are ‘anti-nationals’, what would that make our ‘sisters and daughters’ who also study at JNU? It’s better not to think too much about it and instead consider the weight of these incredible findings: First, it’s admirable that an MLA from a constituency that is around 150 kilometres ( according to Google Maps ) from Munirka — where the JNU campus is located — found the time, energy and inclination to tear himself from his constituents and undertake the painstaking exercise of making an inventory list for the entire JNU campus. Second, this inventory-making exercise highlights just what bad boys and girls the JNU students are. Perhaps, their mummies and daddies are to blame ? Who knows and more to the point, who cares? On with the inventory! And apart from the bones, condoms and namkeen wrappers, on the 14th day of #JNUCrackdown, MLA Ahuja found for me… 10,000 packets of chewing gum: Clearly, those nefarious students had a backup plan for a time when the cigarette wallahs would be driven away.

4,500 unopened packets of Maggi noodles: These anti-nationals think they’re too good for Patanjali noodles. Disgusting!

1,300 pornographic magazines: Another backup plan! This time in preparation for a time when internet connections will be cut off.

900 bottles of desi daaru: You know, for those days when IMFL and FML just won’t cut it. Is this how they prove they’re not anti-national? Shameless!

750 pirated DVDs storing high-def rips of Deadpool: Hey, being anti-national is a time-consuming effort. There’s no time to pop down to your nearest multiplex.

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