You like people but not groups. That may make you an otrovert

How do you define yourself in a social setting? It’s a question we are often asked — be it by dating apps, or by friends and relatives. And most of us answer by either stating that we are an introvert or an extrovert. There are those who respond by saying they are ambiverts — but, let’s be honest, that’s neither here nor there.

But what if none of these terms explain you in the most accurate of ways? Well, now there’s another option — and that’s being an otrovert. In fact, just a few days back, Bollywood actor Diana Penty in an NDTV interview described herself as being an otrovert, adding: “That’s my new thing; I am not an introvert, am an otrovert.”

But what does it mean to be an otrovert?

Neither an introvert or an extrovert

The term otrovert, often mispronounced as outrovert, was coined by psychiatrist American Dr Rami Kaminski. The word is derived from the Spanish word ‘otro’, which means ‘other’.

In an essay written for New Scientist, he wrote that as a child when he joined the Scouts and they were repeating the pledge, he had no feelings whereas the other children seemed awed by the initiation.

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“As I said the words out loud, I knew for the first time that I was different. While the other kids seemed awed by this initiation — by the sacred bond forged with their fellow inductees and all those who had come before them — I felt nothing. They were just words,” he wrote.

He further explains that this helped him realise that a third personality trait existed and they were otroverts, meaning “a person who feels no sense of belonging to any group.”

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He adds that otroverts don’t feel the obligation to merge their identities with others. “We are all born as otroverts, before the cultural conditioning of childhood cements our affiliations with various identities and groups.”

Identifying an otrovert

So, how does one spot an otrovert?

According to Dr Kaminski, otroverts are not communal, not feeling a sense of belonging or allegiance to any group. Otroverts, according to the psychologist, energise themselves “by thinking their own thoughts. “They do not have to withdraw from the group in order to recharge, as it is not the group that is draining. It’s exposure to the group think.”

They are more comfortable in one-to-one bonds rather than large group settings and don’t fall prey to peer pressure. Moreover, they are not interested in what “everyone” is doing or talking about — there’s no Fomo — and don’t need validation from others.

Dr Kaminski further noted that otroverts tend to be soft spoken, polite, and helpful, and while they may not enjoy small talk or have a wide social circle, they engage deeply and authentically one-on-one.

Additionally, at work, being in a team could be draining for an otrovert; they would prefer self-employment or perhaps managing a team. In relationships, otroverts allow for a stronger, more meaningful bond to be built.

According to the psychologist behind the term, if you answer yes to most of these statements, you could be an otrovert:

1. I am truly close to very few people in my life.
2. When I am sad, I need people to cheer me up.
3. I consider thinking an activity.
4. I like being alone, I am my best company.
5. I am the first one to hear about hot new places.
6. I develop a personal philosophy to guide my life rather than adopting one from the outside.
7. I want to be understood.

Pros and cons of being an otrovert

Because there’s a heavy premium put on joining in, otroverts often feel misunderstood. Dr Kaminski notes, “We put so much stock in communality that a different stance is understood as pathology. Otroverts are perceived as weird and wrong for preferring solitude over socialising, and subjected to peer pressure from well-meaning people who genuinely desire their companionship or who would hate for them to “miss out” on all the fun. What these people fail to realise is that for otroverts, there is great freedom and fulfilment in sitting on the sidelines.”

In The Guardian, Dr Kaminski further noted, “Otroverts are well equipped not only to thrive in our fractured, angry world, but also to show others the way. The reason is simple: they see people, including themselves, as individuals, not just faceless members of a tribe. It is easy to hate a formless group that you are taught to perceive as different, inferior, or threatening.”

With inputs from agencies