Pride Month|Trevor: The Musical is a story of hope in the face of homophobia

Being rejected by people who matter to you is one of the hardest things to live through. You feel unloved and unwanted. Your self-worth takes a beating. You see your whole being through the lens of lack. You hate yourself. You want to disappear, and never come back. If you have felt all these feelings, you would understand what Trevor – played by Holden Hagelberger – goes through in Trevor: The Musical (2022), which is directed by Robin Abrams and Marc Bruni with writing by Dan Collins and music by Julianne Wick Davis. This filmed version of an off-Broadway play is currently streaming on Hotstar. It is meant to be a Pride Month offering but hopefully it will continue to be watched even after June. Trevor is a 13-year-old boy who loves to dance, choreograph, and fantasize. He describes himself as “more of a performer than an athlete”. He maintains a journal to keep track of the various creative ideas popping up in his teenage brain. He is the biggest fan of Diana Ross, the lead singer from The Supremes. He is gay, and struggles with internalized homophobia along with the cruelty of his peers, shaming from a priest, and the ignorance of his parents. What upsets everyone is the fact that Trevor likes a straight boy named Pinky – played by Sammy Dell – who is the poster boy of desirability in his school. Trevor has known no gay person before. He doesn’t have the language to describe what he is going through, so he absorbs the hate thrown at him and he makes it his own. He begins to think of himself as weird. He even tries to “cure” himself of the “sickness” that makes him an object of ridicule. Hagelberger does an excellent job of communicating the torment that Trevor experiences. If you expect musicals to be silly, light-hearted and entertaining, this one might challenge you. It has a touch of humour but it is there only to offset the heaviness of a story that looks at how toxic heteronormativity can be. It can push a young person to suicidal ideation. This theme should not come as a surprise, considering that The Trevor Project happens to be one of the largest suicide prevention initiatives in the world supporting LGBTQ youth in distress. This project was founded by Celeste Lecesne, Peggy Rajski and Randy Stone, who created the Oscar-winning short film Trevor (1994) – the inspiration behind Trevor: The Musical. Pinky starts off as a character who is different from the other macho athletes in school. He appreciates all the beautiful things that Trevor has to offer and he even stands up for Trevor. This is partly because Trevor makes Pinky think of himself as someone who is capable and talented and has a bright future ahead. The scenes wherein they are getting to know each other intimately are beautifully acted and shot. The horror that follows is a stark contrast. Pinky does not know that his friendly gestures are being interpreted by Trevor in a non-platonic way. Their relationship changes overnight when Trevor’s journal is made public by his classmates Walter (played by Aryan Simhadri) and Mary (played by Echo Picone). Trevor has no intention of courting or stalking Pinky. He just wants to make sense of his feelings. He is utterly confused. There is no support system at school or at home to help him through this. Trevor tells himself, “People like me are sick and never get better. We are better off gone.” While watching this, I was reminded of Himanjali Sarkar’s novel Talking of Muskaan (2014) wherein a lesbian girl is pushed to the brink by classmates and a girl she likes. They make Muskaan feel disgusted with herself. Muskaan in this book has much in common with Trevor. There is nothing wrong with them. It is the environment around them that stigmatizes and pathologizes their sexual orientation. They are not allowed to live their lives in peace. Thankfully, Trevor: The Musical ends on a hopeful note. When Trevor is recovering at the hospital after his suicide attempt, he meets a candy striper (a volunteer nurse) named Jack. Played by Aaron Alcaraz, this character is an older gay person who makes Trevor believe that things will get better. While Trevor is initially not keen to listen to a pep talk, his resistance melts away when Jack reveals that he too is gay. When Jack was younger, he tried very hard to change the way he walked and the way he spoke. He tried to be different in order to fit in but none of this helped. He realized that the only way to heal was to fully embrace himself. Jack is the kind of queer elder that Trevor really needs in his life especially because his parents, played by Sally Wilfert and Jarrod Zimmerman, are clueless about how to support their son. Jack does not try to set himself up as a role model. He wants Trevor to recognize that his parents are trying hard to adjust to the new reality that they have woken up to. Jack also reminds Trevor that he does not need to let go of Diana Ross despite what others have to say. If she is a source of empowerment in his life, how does anybody else’s opinion matter? Alcaraz, with his effortless charm, and comforting manner, does justice to this key role. Jack recalls going to a Diana Ross concert where she said, “No matter how difficult it may seem at the time it’s always easier to live the truth than live a lie.” Yasmeen Sulieman plays the role of Diana Ross in this musical. Her stage presence, energy, and costumes leave no stone unturned in filling Trevor’s heart with the conviction he needs to get up and get going. She does for Trevor what Sridevi does for many gay men in India, who swear by the diva. The musical concludes with a performance of “I’m Coming Out”, an iconic Diana Ross song that many LGBTQ people in the US consider to be an anthem. Its placement in Trevor’s narrative suggests that he is unwilling to be bogged down by homophobia, and is ready to claim his own place in the universe. He cannot fix those whose minds are filled with prejudice. It is their job to get rid of all that nonsense, learn, grow up, live and let live. Chintan Girish Modi is a Mumbai-based journalist.  Read all the  Latest News ,  Trending News ,  Cricket News ,  Bollywood News ,  India News  and  Entertainment News  here. Follow us on  Facebook ,  Twitter  and  Instagram .