Sushant Singh Rajput, you are missed

It’s been two years since we lost Sushant Singh Rajput . Death turned this young troubled actor into a legend that he was not destined to be during his lifetime. There was too much going wrong in Sushant’s life; a lot of it had nothing to do with the film industry treating him like an outsider. Kartik Aaryan too is going through the same ‘contempt of courtship’ procedure. Like Sushant, Kartik refuses to bow and scrape, or perform impromptu lap dances, for the powers-that-be. Kartik won’t cave in. He will fight. Sushant too was a fighter. A fierce fighter. He worked on his own term. “I work entirely for my job satisfaction. Otherwise, I could have made money in any other profession. I am here to make a difference, firstly to myself. When I look back on my body of work I want to feel a sense of pride. Whether it is Kai Po Che , Byomkesh Bakshi , Dhoni , Kedarnath or Sonchiriya , I am happy and proud to be associated with these films. I am not in this for the money or the fame. I don’t care about money, as long as I have enough to look after my basic needs and the needs of family and team. I am not intimidated by anyone. Nor will be bullied into doing any film that I don’t want to do. My workspace and my private space is non-negotiable. I feel there is an appreciation for all the hard work being put in my films. Maybe in my case, it doesn’t show in box office figures. But as long as I’ve the freedom and power to do the kind of films I want to I am in a comfortable place.” This was the bravest actor of his generation who never played it safe. Sushant said no to Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Goliyon Ki Raasleela Ram Leela : he was busy training for Shekhar Kapur ’s Paani which Aditya Chopra ’s Yash Raj Films was to produce. An ambitious retelling of Romeo & Juliet set in the future when water was the battering ram that determined your status in society, the preparation and workshops for Paani took two years of Sushant’s precious all-too-brief life. Would he have avoided wasting those two years if he knew he had so little time to live? I think he wouldn’t have. Once I asked him if he regretted losing out on so many plum assignments for Paani, Sushant’s reply was revealing. “Not at all. I would do it again, even if I was told at the beginning that the film would not be made. In those two years, I learnt so much from Shekhar Sir. He is an entire institution of filmmaking. Just being with him was a learning experience.” I didn’t agree with Sushant. Especially now when I look back, I wonder why Sushant chose to lose those two years: he had so little time. He could have done at least two more films during the Paani break. Sushant did just ten full-length feature films during his lifetime. Of these Abhishek Choubey’s Sonchiriya was his proudest achievement. Shooting for his outlaw’s role in Sonchiriya Sushant spent days and weeks preparing himself, staying unwashed, unfed, unattended. “My character wants to surrender to the law. I surrendered to the law of self-discipline that I’ve made for my job. I had to capture the core of humanity in my character. That said, success or failure is not something I understand.” I still have Sushant’s last WhatsApp message to me. I have read it many times over since his death. It says, “Sir, I remember that I have what all I want already, so I don’t offer any negotiation with my peace or smiles in any ones presence or absence. And we know that it could only get better from here.” Sadly, it didn’t get better from there. The message sent on 27 March 2019 was the last I heard from Sushant. One year three months later, Sushant was no more. In the interim, I made many attempts to reach him. His number was unreachable. None of his friends knew where he was. Words, as they say, fail to convey the ridiculousness of the situation. Subhash K Jha is a Patna-based film critic who has been writing about Bollywood for long enough to know the industry inside out. He tweets at @SubhashK_Jha. Read all the  Latest News ,  Trending News ,  Cricket News ,  Bollywood News ,  India News  and  Entertainment News  here. Follow us on  Facebook,  Twitter and  Instagram.