Reactions to Hrithik-Sussanne divorce prove India's stuck in a time warp

My parents decided to split when I was in second grade. In the early 1990s, if a couple decided to leave each other, it became a trending topic for the entire neighbourhood. At funerals, more people cared about the family that wasn’t together anymore than the person who had passed away. At kitty parties, everyone would weigh in with conspiracy theories about why the marriage didn’t work out blaming everything from financial backgrounds to weight gain. What I could never wrap my head around was why strangers and extended family would want two people who were clearly unhappy living with each other to go through a lifetime of loveless drudgery for “the kids’ sake”. [caption id=“attachment_1302603” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  Hrithik and Sussanne Roshan.[/caption]

People would ask questions like “How are you coping?”, as if growing up with one parent were some sort of life threatening disease. It also had its benefits, as I realised by the time I went to college: a girl would sympathetically gravitate towards dating an emotionally vulnerable and confused sod. In short, people kept making a big deal about two people’s private decision, the kids turned out just fine and everyone moved on in life much, much happier.

You would think India would have changed somewhat in its reaction to a couple’s divorce in the 21st century, but if coverage of the Hrithik–Sussanne divorce is anything to go by, I was sadly mistaken.

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It makes sense that digital teams at most publications would froth at the mouth imagining a volcanic explosion of hits for their pages. Here was a Bollywood power couple whose love story had been constantly spun as everlasting. The moment a crack emerged, everyone who had built up the story began ripping it to shreds.

The day Hrithik released an official statement announcing his separation, a leading publication did seven news stories on the failed marriage, attacking it from every possible angle. Hrithik and Sussanne separate. Was Barbara Mori behind the couple’s split? Was Arjun Rampal behind the couple’s split? Arjun Rampal clarifies he was not behind the split. Other Bollywood celebrities whose marriage has ended badly. Slideshow of Hrithik and Sussanne in happier times. Bollywood expresses shock and Hrithik and Sussanne split. Meanwhile, Anna Hazare was going on another hunger strike, possibly cursing the couple for killing his time in the news cycle.

But it’s somewhat expected that the media will go on a voyeuristic overdrive, given that the Roshans were a celebrity couple. It comes with the territory if you’re a Bollywood star. What’s more revealing is how someone like Hrithik Roshan has to come out and reinforce his faith in things like love and the institution of marriage just so that the fans (ie us) don’t get pissed off. As an actor whose celebrity depends on “family movies”, he cannot come out and say, “Actually, I don’t know if this marriage thing is meant for everyone.”

If reports are to be believed, the seven-year marriage itch has been reduced to two years and more young people are getting divorced with fewer qualms. Yet on the surface of Indian society, we still have to maintain the façade of how marriage is the best thing ever, how everyone needs to be married in order to feel complete in their lives and in case there’s a rupture, then one of the two has to be an evil, immoral and heartless person.

Sometimes two people get together and realise they can’t live with each other anymore. A celebrity isn’t any different from a regular individual and we don’t have to buy their image wholesale. Love isn’t for everyone and not everyone will have successful marriages. The kids will turn out fine. And if you want to still want to lose your mind and turn into gossip girl on hearing the D word, let the word be Dhoom.