Louis Vuitton keen to invest in Patanjali? Make way for kesar jootis, janeu clutches and parfum de gulab jal

If you think Baba Ramdev swinging Ranveer Singh on his shoulders is the craziest thing you have seen from the yoga guru-turned-entrepreneur, you need to inhale a lambi saans and picture what we are transporting you into. Imagine Ramdev walking on the Ganga ghat with a Louis Vuitton janeu clutch dangling on his bare shoulder. Or visualise a host of sari-clad women surrounding Ramdev as he spells out the numerous gun (qualities) of his perfum de gulab jal. Louis Vuitton has hinted that all this might just be a remote reality. The French luxury brand has showed keen interest in investing in Patanjali. No, this is not a Faking News report. But apparently, Ramdev has maintained that Patanjali is ‘ anti-multinational’. However, the possibilities are immense if the collaboration actually materialises. This sangam of styles will lead to concoctions of LV’s chic la haute couture and Patanjali’s sanskari ingenuousness. We wish LV could entice Ramdev with a custom-made safran kurta with stud embellishments. Oh, wait! A kurta would prevent Ramdev from flaunting his extremely malleable stomach and its ripples. How about some LV mojris with kesar peppered all over it? No? Doesn’t work? Maybe Ramdev will be interested in a tailor-made boyfriend dhoti with patches of his portrait. Since jeans is against Indian culture, a boyfriend dhoti will give him enough space to perform his asanas. But what level of customisation can accommodate his ductile waistline? Now, we know what LV needs to win him over with. A Pyramide belt that will be only marginally thinner than his waistline. That way, the belt can shake along with his pumping abdomen and the disciples can enjoy a live hula-hoop session as they learn yoga. Oh yes, we figured it out. One Pyramide belt to tie Patanjali and Louis Vuitton together The day is not far when Baba Ramdev would walk by the Ganges, sporting haldi-plated hair accessories, kesar jootis and the auspicious janeu clutch, while chanting the mantra by His Holiness Honey Singh, “LV ka bag main toh tere liye laya.”