Kubbra Sait on being sexually abused: ‘I didn’t have the time to cope; my tunnel to escape was Dubai’

Actor  Kubbra Sait in an exclusive interview with Firstpost, mentions that for the longest time, she took pride in being a hustler. But the pandemic changed her and it turned out to be an introspective time in her life. She shares about suffering sexual abuse and how she was scared, shaken up and thought nobody would believe her.  Kubbra mentions that she was unable to cope with it and escaped to Dubai. Not just about her book, she also talks about OTT being the ‘now’ of entertainment and on women’s roles evolving in cinema. Excerpts from the interview: On ‘Open Book: Not Quite a Memoir’. The most common question that I get asked is, ‘What is your book about?’ My answer, in pure jest, goes like this: ‘Hey, have you met me before? What do I talk the most about? Me! So, the book is about me. My life has been an open book, therefore this title. Yet, it’s not quite a memoir, also as the title suggests. I think I am presumably, hitting the halfway mark of my life on this wonderful place called earth. So, I thought, it was a decent time to kind of recoup and put my ideas and thoughts together and be like, ‘Hey! This is my life thus far’. Hence, here it is - Open Book, Not Quite A Memoir. What made you come up with your book? I credit boredom a lot in my life. I do not do that lightly at all. I think I was heavily, heavily bored when I was in Microsoft, so I chose to come to Mumbai. I am somebody who likes to work a lot and stay on the top of my hustle. For a long time, I have actually taken a lot of pride in being a hustler. But then, when the pandemic struck, the world forced us to slow down and said no more hustling for you, and everybody just spend time at home. I think this time turned out to be a very introspective time in my life, also due to the events that were unfolding at my end. I was seeing a lot of my therapist and I just felt free. Every time I spoke to my therapist and came home, I said to myself that I want to put this baggage behind me and the easiest way to do that was to journal. But, since I had committed to Harper that I would write a book, I thought, I might as well stick to that and that’s how the book happened. For the longest time, while all this was happening, I had no idea that I was writing a book. I think, when it was done with is when I was like, ‘It’s over. Now it’s yours to read.’ So that’s how the book happened.

Interview with @KubbraSait on her book ‘Open Book: Not quite a Memoir’ coming up soon pic.twitter.com/ZbNPMSNG48

— Firstpost (@firstpost) June 11, 2022

In your book, you share about being sexually abused. How do you think your voice is going to help more women open up about it, especially the young girls, and fight against it? I have always believed that stories go a long way, that stories have immense power in them, that stories can heal, inspire, and help one to let go. And I said this in one of my IG stories recently and I am now reminded of it - don’t ever tell a story if you aren’t over it. I didn’t know how valuable that advice was, it truly is. I have felt that by me sharing about this incident, of my years of suffering sexual abuse, I was actually able to overcome it. It didn’t actually matter or feature in my conversations for the longest time. So, probably a handful of people knew about it but writing about it and also receiving the kind of love that I have from many women, across platforms, has been so relieving and humbling. Now, when you do something like this, you do not expect to have so many other heroes, and I would call them heroes in their own right, who are going to be open about how they felt about it. This felt like a mass healing project. So yeah, I’ve healed and I hope you are right, I hope it does give courage to people around. I hope it gives women the strength to know that they aren’t alone and that it’s going to be okay. I think, we can’t change anything in retrospect, but we can certainly change our present for the future that’s to come. So yes, I have healed, and I hope you are right and it gives a lot of women the strength to heal as well, and it’s only the best we can hope for. But in the end, everyone is doing their own thing and is going through their own journeys. As much as one wants to believe that everyone else is in it too, I think one needs to understand that first and foremost this journey is theirs only and they need to own it as they are the ones rowing their individual boats. How did you cope up after the incident? This is such a great question. I don’t think I had the time to cope. I was too rattled, I was too scared, I was too shaken up with the incident and I don’t think anyone believed me. That’s the truth. I didn’t think I had the courage to talk to anybody about it, so I looked for the first tunnel to escape. My tunnel to escape was Dubai. I really, even back then at the age of 19 to 20 years, wanted to come to Bombay but I was dissuaded from coming to Bombay. People said that I wasn’t ready for it, that I wasn’t ready for the phenomenon called Mumbai. So, then I asked which is the one place that is going to take my parents and this said person at least a week to reach? Dubai. That’s the reason why I left Bangalore or Bengaluru as we know it now. So, at that point, I didn’t cope with it, I escaped it and it stayed inside me for a very long time before I knew I was ready to overcome it and start the healing process. It stayed there for a very long time and when it is in your heart, it shows on your face too_._ I think I looked much older back in the day than I do today. Carrying a scar or a wound from your childhood or from something that you have gone through in the past physically manifests itself and I can tell you that for sure. Healing is a lot of power and it is important. Coming to cinema - you have done so many different kinds of roles, so what is your criteria or thoughts behind choosing them? I have journaled about gratitude a lot. It’s been a game changer for me. I don’t think I put in too much thought. I am very grateful to the kind of makers who have reached out to me to cast me in a role and selected me. These are the roles that allow me to think and emote and be another person. I am really excited about the journey so far and for what lies ahead. I am also excited to be an actor in the future. I feel, this is such a great time to be an actor and to be in a creative field. Now, there are so many avenues for aspiring actors. I don’t think these avenues existed 10 to12 years ago when I first came into this industry. What is up next for you in terms of your career? I am truly blessed because I’m working with a phenomenal team for a show which will premiere on Amazon Prime. I have had the great fortune of getting to work with people I have always wanted to work with, like Rajan DK for Farzi. I am doing a couple more projects for Amazon Prime. I’m shooting a film, which goes on the floor in July, again with people I really love to work with. And I have this book coming out in June - it is literally the next thing in my career and something I have never ever done before. That’s something I’m really excited about. We have got our hands full. But do I crave to work 30 days a month, well why not, but I do need my eight- hours of sleep. OTT as the future of entertainment. I am not Nostradamus and I have no idea about how things change. I am not sure of what the future holds in store for us. But I’ll tell you one thing that I genuinely feel – OTT has been the medium of choice for the present for a while. It has been the medium to tell stories express the journeys of characters flesh them out give avenues to actors, writers, director, new production houses, new musicians - there has been so much diversity and democracy in the art form due to it that it’s been great. Also, there is a certain joy in absorbing what you watch on television. You can take your time with it; you are not bound by anyone else telling you what to watch. OTT is the now of entertainment, I feel. You and I will see together what happens in the future. Time will tell. How do you think women roles are evolving in Indian cinema? I remember when I came to Mumbai, twelve years ago, people told me that I am too old to do ‘heroine’ roles and that I will only get to play character roles. I said I am very happy doing character roles. But then, I don’t think any of the work I’ve done has been ‘sidey’ - or falling off the script. At least that’s been my experience, and I believe that I had an amazing journey so far. And look at all the phenomenal women around us – actors like Vidya Balan who changed the scape of storytelling when it came to women as lead protagonists or Shefali Shah . I recently watched Jalsa and it was an incredible film. I love the ‘new age’ women who inspire me to do better like Taapsee Pannu and Bhumi Pednekar**.** I have seen their journeys and they have never failed to surprise me with their choices, choices that they believe in. I am truly blessed to be in this ecosystem that allows us to tell stories and be part of stories where we are important, and not ‘sidey’ anymore. Who or what would you call your source of inspiration and why? I don’t think I would pick one person who’s my ideal – and in fact, I talk about this in my book. I mention it in places – I say that idols are also human beings and we put so much pressure on human beings to be perfect that we forget that it could be them who could falter. But I am very blessed to have learnt a lot from people around me including my cat. My cat doesn’t care a damn about how anybody else is feeling about him being in the room, he just turns around and does as he pleases. And I think that’s how cool one should aspire to be. Read all the  **_Latest News_** _,_  **_Trending News_** _,_  **_Cricket News_** _,_  **_Bollywood News_** _,_  **_India News_**  and  **_Entertainment News_**  here. Follow us on  Facebook_,_  Twitter and  Instagram_._