Jabariya Jodi audience review: Sidharth Malhotra, Parineeti Chopra bring anything but their best to the table

(Every Friday, Firstpost will be running an audience review of the big release of the week, in an attempt to answer the most fundamental question: should you watch this film or not?) Directed by Prashant Singh and produced under Ekta Kapoor’s Balaji Motion Pictures, Jabariya Jodi stars Siddharth Malhotra and Parineeti Chopra in the lead. They were last seen together in Hasee Toh Phasee in 2014, and reunite on the big screen after five years. [caption id=“attachment_7131791” align=“alignnone” width=“825”]  Parineeti Chopra and Sidharth Malhotra in a promotional still of Jabariya Jodi[/caption] What is Jabariya Jodi about? Jabariya Jodi is a romantic comedy film with the premise of a very bizarre but real social menace in Bihar, of groom kidnapping. Also known as pakadwah shaadi or jabariya shaadi, this is a very common phenomenon where eligible bachelors are kidnapped and forcefully married later on to avoid heavy dowry costs. And this practice is still prevalent today.   What works Interval. The only thing that worked. I would not have minded having one every 20 minutes. And surprisingly, the only thing that worked for the movie is the supporting star cast and not the main lead. A couple of scenes with Sanjay Mishra here and there, some with Javed Jaffrey, and a few with Aparshakti Khurana are the ONLY saving grace. What does not work EVERYTHING. And there is a lot to talk about it over here so brace yourselves. To begin with, Sidharth Malhotra’s Bihari accent is a big fail. That, along with his poor portrayal of a Bihari gangster, just adds to the downfall of the entire plot. I remember watching Koffee With Karan season 2, where Kareena Kapoor called John Abraham an ‘expressionless actor’. The same can be said about Sidharth Malhotra today. He is just the same in every movie, even when he was doing Mixed Martial Arts scenes in Brothers. He just looks constipated in every frame. Parineeti Chopra does not bring anything new on screen. She is the same girl doing the same roles from when she started, be it in Ishaqzaade or Shuddh Desi Romance. Her red hair is just another obnoxious and annoying part of the entire film. Her character is predictable and does not delight the audience. Sadly, she has been a victim of her own image. The songs are boring . Nobody is going to remember them ever. The remixed version of ‘ _Khadke_ _Glassy_ ’ and ‘ _Zilla Hilela_ ’ are mediocre. I have no idea why Tanishk Bagchi thinks we are in the early 2000s, where remixes genuinely worked. Verdict: Not even a one-time watch. Imagine sitting with a straight face for 144 minutes for a movie that was supposed to have comedy as an integral part. I only heard four college kids, who bunked their morning class, laugh on two jokes. This one is boring and unnecessarily dragged to a point where the concept it is based on is nowhere to be seen. I read something very important on the screen during the interval: ‘This intermission is for your convenience’. And that made more sense than the entire movie because sitting through this painful flick without a break would have messed up my weekend for sure. It was my choice to watch this movie and it turned _jabariya a_fter the first twenty minutes. And more of a ghabariya situation towards the second half.