How shows like The Fame Game, and films like Tribhanga, Shakuntala Devi are finally embracing the idea of flawed motherhood

Picture this: a mother of two, pursuing dense literary translation, leaves her very young daughters to find fulfilment and seek a career. Choosing a life of comforting European university vistas, she leaves her girls with her husband, only to return after three years when she misses them. She also has an affair.

While this is not an easy thought or story to digest, Olivia Colman and Jessica Buckley make it a thought-provoking film with The Lost Daughter. Based on the book by the same name by Elena Ferrante, both actors create a character that does not apologise for what she is: a self-confessed ‘unnatural’ mother, passing harsh judgement on herself.  

In popular culture, and now in web series, mothers are shown as pillars of strength, consistency, and love. Either they tend to be sacrificing, mutely suffering, and surviving the travails of motherhood for their children; or the other extreme of being moralising, and therefore aggressive in taming/correcting their kids.  

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But some content has braved the acceptability marker, and gone on to show moms that make poor choices or put themselves above their maternal role. In 2013, when Jhumpa Lahiri published The Lowland, it showed the uncomfortable situation of a woman’s personal ambition clashing with her responsibilities as a mother. But that was a book. When Hindi films and web series go beyond the regular mom portrayal, the surprise is in the acceptance that these stories have found.  

A mother showing bias and making a poor choice that affects the future of her sons was key to the story of Kapoor & Sons [2016]. Shakun Batra’s film told us that a mother could go wrong, and still come back from this mistake.  

The mother that makes unusual choices against societal norms makes for an interesting intergenerational story with Tribhanga [Netflix India]. Here, three generations of women leave the impact of their decisions on their offspring, without always realising this.

Renuka Shahane, writer-director of this film, explains, “I had an idea in my mind about three parts of me as an individual. When I am writing, I am like Nayan. I really feel like no other person or thing should intervene as it is so immersive. At that time, I tend to even forget that I am a mother, an actor, a homemaker, a wife. For Anu, as a public figure all my life, you can’t really react the way you want to under most circumstances. You are very censored, you are very cautious. You have to be extremely responsible, and as a public person, you always have to walk on eggshells. Anu was that feeling within me. She is completely uncensored, and doesn’t care two hoots about what society thinks of her. Masha is the reality that many very intelligent women, who want a very stable life for their children, tend to go for. These three aspects are present in most women."

“It’s also about us being rebels against what our parents have done but at the same time, all the women are trying to choose what is best for their children, keeping their self-respect intact. They are unapologetic because of that. Anu says it in so many words, that we might have terrible choices, but they were our choices; and the fact that they had the strength to live by those choices, and to make the best of them… The best thing to do is to accept your own faults and certain choices that you’ve made, and move on, twist your head held high. Society might want to judge women a certain way; keep them on pedestals, make them commodities or objectify them or whatever, try to fit them into one particular box. But women who make unconventional choices are not going to fit into those boxes. They are going to make their own choices, and choose their own lives.”  

A second important element of motherhood has been crucial in such stories is that of guilt. Mothers deal with guilt as standard operating procedure.

Indian content, specifically Hindi content across all formats, has pushed this guilt under the carpet because it is uncomfortable to address. Shakuntala Devi [Amazon Prime Video India], the film, highlighted this by turning the concept of a good mother on its head. The eccentric mathematical genius did not do anything by the book, and made visibly selfish choices [she never sends her daughter to a proper school till her ex-husband forces her to do so; they stay at hotels and never have a proper home; they travel all the time].

But in the process, she raises a headstrong, talented child. In an earlier conversation, Anu Menon, writer and director, had explained, “All mothers are flawed so to chase some lion of perfection is futile. I wanted to consciously question the expectations put on mothers. In reality, as a mother, one is always dealing with guilt! Are you too ambitious at the cost of your child’s well-being or are you not ambitious enough and not setting a good role model for a child? Men rarely have that pressure. Shakuntala followed her heart, and wanted to do so much. She didn’t think being a mother should make her dreams any smaller!”  

Motherhood is also tiring, draining, and demanding. This can make one seek release and escape at times. The actual emotional turmoil driving such a conflict [of letting go or of going away] is hardly ever focused upon in OTT content. In The Fame Game, Madhuri Dixit plays Anamika Anand, a movie star with a seemingly picture-perfect life but a deeply conflicted unhappy existence. Her decision to make a dramatic, shocking choice is supposed to help her children and herself; but it also hints at a desire to re-do her life. Madhuri Dixit, a much-loved movie icon, plays a mother wanting to let go, and a woman seeking love after being stuck in a loveless marriage. The idea of ‘breaking free’ is handled subtly, beginning with a sequence when a psychotherapist prompts her to think of what she wants from life, and she does not know.

Karishma Kohli, co-director of the show, explains, “This stigma from society about a perfect mother and a perfect woman, apart from breaking taboos. In my episode, when the shrink keeps asking her repeatedly, what is it that you want, then Anamika discovers that she lost herself in all of this. I feel like women actors from the ’90s [be it Karishma Kapoor and Madhuri Dixit] from the ’90s are looking for opportunities where they can actually perform, and they are willing to explore because there’s a lot more than women are willing to express. Having spent time in the US and having two boys of her own, Madhuri Dixit has had the exposure that made her fit in seamlessly with a younger cast and crew. She did her homework so well! In the scene where she asks her son if he is gay, she jumped into it effortlessly.”  

Hollywood embraced the idea of a mother who runs away and then returns with guilt back in 1979 with Kramver vs. Kramer. Forty-two years later, streaming is finally helping Indian storytellers to adapt the same theme for the Indian audience. And it’s about time they do it more often.

Archita Kashyap is an experienced journalist and writer on film, music, and pop culture. She has handled entertainment content for broadcast news and digital platforms over 15 years. 

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