Legend has it that when I was born, the first words I uttered were ‘sport’. Of course, it’s not sure which end of the body the sound came from. But the fellowship was formed. Since then I has been attempting to prove that I have prodigious potential, only to be told otherwise by everyone else. So since I can't play, I write -- about the adrenaline rush in motor sport, the poetically brutal marriage of strings, balls and humans in tennis and the pain that comes from being a football fan.