'Unladylike' Radhika Vaz blows the lid off women's sex secrets

New York: “I believe that the number one reason for a woman to walk away from a spontaneous sexual encounter is untended body hair. Anywhere – and we all know we have loads of nooks and crannies for it!” Radhika Vaz tells a Manhattan audience over tea and cake.

“Of course, we would never tell that to a man so we improvise. ‘I’m not that kind of girl. I’ve come with my friends. I have typhoid.’ More cow shit. It’s so unfair isn’t it?” Vaz tempered while stalking the stage on stylish black heels.

These comedic rants have now become Vaz’s trademark. Rather remarkable as Vaz slipped into New York’s tough-as-nails, male-dominated comedy circuit from the buttoned-down corporate world. She was an ad-exec in Madras and New York before discovering improvisational theatre. Vaz, who has a Masters in advertising from Syracuse University, has traded the nine-to-five world for the vagaries of theatre.

It’s been a smart trade as US audiences love Vaz’s impertinent, honest exploration of what it is like to be a woman. “It is a very in-your-face, funny, naughty exploration of what it is like to be a woman, an Indian woman. It discusses the issues and frustrations of what women have to put up with in the world, but not in an angry tirade sort of way but funny, ribald fashion. This show has drawn all sorts of US audiences,” said the show’s director Brock Savage.

Vaz talked to Firstpost in New York about how she was excited to bring her show, “Unladylike: The Pitfalls of Propriety” to India. Her Delhi stop is scheduled for 30 March and 31 March at the NU.DElhi QBA, and she has three shows at Mumbai’s Comedy Store starting on 4 April. When you see Vaz’s brilliantly funny show expect an irreverent take on virgin brides, fake orgasms, bisexual fantasies and how women will say anything to get a man between the sheets.

Can you dissect the humour in “Unladylike: The Pitfalls of Propriety”?

It is the story of a woman, OK – it’s me, who has spent her life trying to live by society’s rules for the ‘fairer sex’. I am sick of the list of things we can and cannot do, and with this show I get a chance to share that with you. And like all comedy, so much of the show is in the delivery, which is why my director and I chose a format that combines personal narrative storytelling with the more traditional comedic forms of stand-up and sketch.

How do you feel about taking an R rated show which has a witty, intelligent and funny conversation about sex to India?

I grew up in India and sex was what we kept under wraps, we weren’t given an opportunity to talk about it openly, and so I wanted some way to get it out in the open. I started writing this show with the intention of performing it in India, we have fewer female comedians there and so I thought it would be nice to do a show for my girls back home.

Is “Unladylike” an impertinent, honest exploration of what it is like to be a woman?

Women are complicated creatures. Quite often we think one thing, say another and then go do a third! And it’s not our fault, we have a lot on our plate! For me the motivation behind the material of the show was to examine the universal truths of womanhood in tandem with the age-old double standards and gender inequalities that are often foisted upon the female race as children. But in a funny, non-judgmental way!

What did you do before being a comedienne and writing your own material?

I worked for an advertising firm helping sell credit cards, before that I worked for a hotel company selling hotel rooms. Now I sell tickets to my shows. So while things change, they also stay the same!

Some deeply serious men have argued that women have no sense of humour. The idea that women aren’t funny seems laughable these days as there are so many witty dames in US showbiz. Still, do woman risk being called sarcastic and hateful if they throw the merry dart or engage in a little sharp shooting?

Well, as an obscure, deeply unserious woman may I say that these men need to be hunted down and smacked. I think that the average female has a more serious bent of mind than the average man, but this does not mean we are less capable of being funny.

Would you describe yourself as a gypsy?

I most certainly am, I was born in Bombay and because my dad was in the Air Force I was raised all over the country. I moved to America — to Syracuse, NY and then to New York City — about 11 years ago. New York has been the longest I have ever lived anywhere. I have a t-shirt I got in Jamaica a few years ago. It’s got Bob Marley on the front and “My home is in my head” on the back. It really spoke to me!

Off stage, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being most unladylike, where do you stand normally?

Probably at 3 — and that’s because of my ovaries. My mother-in-law brings out my most ladylike side. I manage to get to a 6.5 when she is around.

Are Indian people funny?

I think we are but I wouldn’t say we have the market cornered, it looks like comedy remains the domain of Black and Jewish people! They make fun of themselves which is what I think endears them to the audience. As Indians we sometimes find it hard to laugh at ourselves.

What are some the highpoints of your life?

My first bra, moving to New York, and giving birth to this show. It was a long and painful pregnancy. The delivery was surprisingly quick. I was always told I had the hips for childbirth.