A judge in United Arab Emirates' Fujairah was flummoxed when a litigant filed for divorce on the most unusual grounds. Her husband was killing her with kindness and she could take no more. Her complaint extended to his inability to ever lose his temper, be critical of her or question her housework.
She added that not only was he driving her crazy with his concern, but he helped her with the cleaning, washing the dishes and sweeping the floors and was attentive to the point of her feeling hounded.
The judge asked her if she was serious and she said very serious because the stress emanating from his constant caring was driving her crazy. She felt suffocated and tense waiting all the time for the other shoe to drop. She told the judge that this was not normal conduct and all she was asking for was a little bit of inconsideration and normality with ups and downs.
It is believed she also 'accused' her husband of loading her with gifts for no reason and this was very exhausting because she was consistently on tenterhooks about what he would give her next.
Under the law it is not mandatory to give the identity of the plaintiff and since there is no precedent to this case either de facto or de jure the judge reserved his verdict till next week at which time public interest is certain to be much higher.
During this first hearing, the defendant expressed his love for his wife and asserted it was only this overwhelming affection that prompted him to be so accommodating. The judge took the premise of his defense under advisement and recommended that the couple spend the weekend reconsidering their relationship and being grateful they had so much love and care in their lives.
According to an article in Harvard Business Review, being too nice can be indicative of inefficiency, sloth, a sign of being irresponsible, and harmful to individuals and the organisation or relationship. If marriage is one such entity is it possible that the husband's constant attention could be getting on the wife's nerves.
Although after the first hearing there are few takers for the wife's argument and the case is lending itself to some ribald humour it is possible that too much kindness can be claustrophobic.
"Too Much Love May Be Unhealthy. A new study suggests too tight of a romantic bond with a partner may be detrimental. ... This is what psychologists term as relationship-contingent self-esteem (RCSE), and, according to University of Houston researcher Chip Knee, it's an unhealthy factor in romantic relationships," as per the article.
Maybe RCSE is more widespread than we think.
Updated Date: Aug 25, 2019 11:56:11 IST