Three important takeaways from current affairs in US (otherwise known as the world’s greatest democracy)

‘Trump is a ship leaving a sinking rat’ Reports have now emerged that the Republican Party, the party of Abraham Lincoln, is in turmoil. Despite the sitting President’s Scooby Doo type coup attempt, three out of every four registered Republicans still support Donald Trump. The party simply cannot part ways with him. Wherever he takes them, they must follow. So whether it is impeachment or just simply saying he Trump got his ass whipped in the elections, Republicans will continue to support their leader. They cannot bear the thought of his leaving office—or the party. One insider said: “It’s like a ship leaving a sinking rat.”

‘Insurrection is an erectile dysfunction drug’ Reports have also emerged that most of the innocent rioters/vandals/terrorists/white supremacists who stormed the Capitol in Washington on January 6, believed that an erectile dysfunction drug was being distributed free. Sharp analysts have pointed out that the frequent use of the words ‘insurrection’ and ‘freedom’ may have caused the rush that led to the melee/mayhem/murder that took place in Washington. An edifying incite. ‘Stop the steal’ Till last week, this was the most visible, most audible, slogan that told the world Trump was the legal winner of the 2020 election. Joe Biden was a thief—and a LOOOSER! But reports now say that the copyrighted slogan has been stolen by left wing anarchists merely on the basis of video evidence. The evidence in question is footage of White House artefacts being carried away by Trump’s packers and movers to Mar a Lago or wherever. Most notable among these items is a bust of Abraham Lincoln, which was seen leaving despite not having lost an election or being impeached.

This is a work of satire The writer is a journalist and author of Aarushi, an account of the murder investigation and ensuing trial