The perfect Indian politician: We should love Trump, he's just like our own 'desi Donalds'

Why are we as Indians so surprised and horrified that Donald Trump could be elected President of the United State. Racist, bigoted, crude, crass, with no idea of foreign policy, intent on being divisiveness, hostile, provocative and dangerous…oh, yes, egotistical, maniacal and totally out to lunch. Perhaps we should stop for a minute and think. Do all these labels apply to an army of elected individuals in India? You can start at the highest echelons of political command and go right down the various tiers of the power pyramid and find dozens of people who would fit the bill today, just as they have in the last 68 years. I have my own favourite list and you have yours and collectively we would probably be able to mark down at least 75 ‘desi donalds’ whose bigotry and foolishness, whose racist attitude and absurd commentaries would put the guy leading the presidential race in the shade. At 75, I am being modest. Go to the State level and between sycophancy, brown nosing adulation and the hubris and arrogance of our Chief Ministers and their legislative minion, Donald Trump is a sweet little ducky. What gives us Indians the right to believe that it is only our prerogative to elect religious fanatics and corrupt and venal people with no saving graces. Why can’t the Americans do the same? We fall for crap all the time. The promises of each election lie dead by the wayside but that does not stop us from voting for people who hit our buttons of suspicion, insecurity and fear. They play us and we fall for it.

See, those people who are not like you are the reason you are in such bad shape, vote for me and I will rid you of the menace. I will clean the place up.

Come on, the names resonate in your mind, spill onto your lips, they are in command at the moment, playing and preying on our weaknesses. Just like Donald telling us half truths, strumming our fears with his fingers, calling on the people to let him lead them to a new frontier. We have been doing much the same since 1947. [caption id=“attachment_2540972” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  Donald Trump. AP[/caption] Let’s play devil’s advocate. We blame the USA for playing global policeman. Donald wants to bring Americans home and end that role. And that makes us angry. He wants to build walls to keep illegal people out because they contribute to crime. Ask anyone in Delhi how he feels about the Bangladeshi and Sri Lankan ghettos in the neighbourhood. Donald Trump’s central theme is ‘Let’s make America great again.’ Change the name of the country and go back through our electoral history. There’s not an iota of difference. I am watching Arnab Goswami castigating the Americans on Wednesday night for some report that has come out on India’s religious intolerance. Everyone is outraged. Who can be more racist than the US. From New Delhi to Honolulu, he paraphrases, people are asking how the US can dare talk about racism. Even if we overlook the fact that Honolulu is part of the US, why the indignation? Ignore the American report. It is not our almanac or our yardstick, why do we care what they say? Ask people from eastern states how secure they feel. Then he goes on to rake Donald Trump over the coals. And how does it matter to you and me if the people of the USA want to make him their leader? We elected Laloo Prasad Yadav, Narendra Modi, Mamata Banerjee, Mayawati, Smriti Irani, Manmohan Singh, Sonia Gandhi, Rahul, Karunanidhi, a thousand others, didn’t see the Americans getting their knickers in a twist. Donald Trump doesn’t want you to come to his country. Fine, don’t go. Donald Trump wants ‘Make in USA’. How is that different from ‘Make in India.’ He says the US owes 419 trillion and it needs a businessman to bring it back. Aren’t we doing much the same chasing hidden bank accounts. Is he a racist monster or a pragmatist when he says that well educated blacks have an advantage over whites. Affirmative action combined with the guilt of the past makes for a formidable force. Any different from our multi-reservation approach to unequal equality. Bring back jobs from China and Mexico, says this horrible man, give them to Americans. Why is that different from reversing the Indian brain drain that we keep moaning about. Get rid of waste, fraud and abuse in every single agency, says Donald. Did Arvind Kejriwal say anything different? Two months ago Trump said, time to figure out who are allies are. And we are complaining about that in India. We haven’t been able to figure out our friends in seven decades. He said, we have a problem with radicals. Doesn’t India? Donald Trump is the perfect Indian politician. Since we vote so many of his ilk into power why should we mock the Americans for doing the same.