 "Malala described how the Oxford incident unlocked vivid recollections of the attack and her childhood under Taliban rule. (File Photo: Wikimedia Commons)")
Nobel laureate Malala Yousafzai, 28, has disclosed that her first experience smoking a bong at Oxford University revived long-suppressed memories of the Taliban assassination attempt she survived as a 15-year-old in Pakistan.
Malala, globally recognised for her advocacy of girls’ education, was shot by a masked Taliban gunman while travelling on a school bus in Swat Valley. She suffered severe injuries, including a lacerated facial nerve, shattered eardrum, and broken jaw, and spent months in critical care before being flown to the UK for specialist treatment.
In an interview with The Guardian, she described how the Oxford incident unlocked vivid recollections of the attack and her childhood under Taliban rule. “I had never felt so close to the attack as then, in that moment,” she said, adding that she felt as though she was reliving it and briefly believed she was in the afterlife. She recalled attempting to walk back to her room after smoking, only to black out and be carried by a friend while her mind replayed the gunfire, blood, and the rush to the ambulance.
Mental health struggles and recovery
Malala said the experience had a profound effect on her mental health, triggering anxiety and panic attacks. “I’m the girl who was shot … I’m supposed to be a brave girl,” she said. “Until I couldn’t pretend any longer. I’d be sweating and shaking and I could hear my heartbeat. Then I started getting panic attacks.”
With the support of a therapist, Malala gradually processed the flashbacks and overwhelming emotions, recognising the combined pressure of exam stress and childhood memories. “I survived an attack, and nothing happened to me, and I laughed it off. I thought nothing could scare me, nothing. My heart was so strong. And then I was scared of small things, and that just broke me. But, you know, in this journey I realised what it means to be actually brave. When you can not only fight the real threats out there, but fight within.”