Farting whale puts UK Royal Navy on high alert fearing a Russian drone surveillance: Report

The Royal Navy of the United Kingdom started a frenzied hunt for phantom Russians off the coast after hearing two weird sounds in the water, only to discover that the noises were caused by a gassy whale, an official told The Sun.

Naval authorities were concerned that one of Russian President Vladimir Putin’s drone submarines had placed a listening device on the ocean floor between two Scottish islands, launching an inquiry.

The two toots were discovered around 100 miles from where the UK’s doomsday submarines are located.

“We have been analyzing the sounds and now believe it was a marine mammal. A whale” the officer informed the British tabloid.

The sound, initially identified by analysts as a man-made noise, had never before been detected by the sensors, causing the navy to misinterpret Das Boof for Das Boot, according to the article.

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It also raised concerns that Russia’s deep-sea research outfit, known as GUGI, was attempting to capture the British subs’ acoustic characteristics to make them easier to track.

The sites of the Royal Navy’s Astute-class assault submarines and Vanguard-class ballistic missile submarines are among of the country’s most tightly kept military secrets. They are meant to go silently across the waves.

While it was established that flatulence was the source of the false alert, officials stated that they treat all threats seriously.