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Donald Trump's week on Twitter: US president slammed Pakistan, Palestine, took credit for absence of plane crashes

After returning from his New Year's vacation, Donald Trump took stock of his first year as president. Upon sober reflection, he decided it was time to hunker down. Roll up his sleeves and get to work. To dispense with the 4 am bathroom brain farts he calls tweets and turn over a new leaf. To bring dignity and gravitas back to the Oval Office.

Just kidding.

No, the president got straight back presidenting (he thinks that's what presidents do and none of his staff have told him otherwise).

It all kicked off on 1 January, when Trump went on tirade at frenemy Pakistan. He tweeted:

Okay. Bad example. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. And besides, as every armchair cricketer knows, it takes a while for the batsman to get his eye in. The next tweet was vintage Trump (by which we mean a terrible and lousy human being).

In case it wasn't clear, Trump was going after a private citizen as his capacity as a president, saying she ought to be jailed. Let those words wash over you. Savour them. He also rambled about the "Deep State" justice department (his justice department) and took a dig at former FBI director James Comey (remember him? That was so last season of The Apprentice).

Next, Trump did what all normal presidents do. Take credits for things that haven't even happened. In this case, plane crashes.

Quick quiz, would you prefer Donald Trump as your pilot or your president? The answer might surprise even you. Also, there hasn't been a commercial plane crash in the US since 2009. Thanks Obama! Then 2 January was a busy day (the adult babysitter must have had an off) — Trump went after the Palestinians.

Because attacking one of the people you have to deal with to ensure lasting peace in West Asia is a great idea. Just ask anyone (if you're reading this Mr President, this is sarcasm. Note: Sarcasm is when...  oh, never mind). Then (my god, my god, why have you forsaken me), Trump went after Kim Jong-un. Because this world is far too small for just one madman with terrible hair, a daddy didn't-love-me complex and nuclear weapons. Trump tweeted:

Really? Is making the joke even necessary at this point? Sorry, we have far too much class for that.

And finally (sighs deeply), Trump went after his favourite target (even more than Crooked Hillary): The media.

Stay tuned folks. Only 1,112 days until Trump's first term ends. Unless the zombie apocalypse gets us first. Which, at this point, might be the less painful way to go.

Updated Date: Jan 03, 2018 16:05 PM

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