 "Cut! Daniel Craig says count yourself lucky it's Monica Belluci, Censor Board says 50% kiss is enough")
Wet blanket Pahlaj Nihalani has cut kisses in the latest James Bond blockbuster Spectre by 50 per cent. Some of the cuss words like ‘F’ and ‘a**hole’ have also been deleted by the board to give a U/A certificate to the latest 007 film, which is all set to hit Indian screens on Friday. [caption id=“attachment_722837” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]
 Daniel Craig[/caption] The Central Board of Film Certification has ordered that four scenes in the new James Bond film be trimmed, including at least two kisses between the lead actors, Daniel Craig and Monica Belluci. The decision to reduce the length of the kissing scenes is trending on social media Thursday as Indians mocked the prudishness of film certification authorities. Earlier this week the film certification board gave “Spectre” a U/A rating suggesting parental discretion for children under 12. The film will be released in theaters on Friday. Meanwhile, on Twitter, scores of Indians used the satirical hashtag #SanskariJamesBond, or “traditional James Bond” to ridicule the cuts. “James Bond’s women must be feeling so safe now that our Censor Board is there to protect their honor from that creep,” said Bollywood director and producer Shirish Kunder in a tweet.
BBC News has a laugh riot on the story. Compared to Hollywood, movie norms in India are extremely strict. Censorship authorities often order filmmakers — both Indian and foreign— to chop scenes deemed offensive. Films with graphic content can be barred completely. In years past, Indian filmmakers circumvented censors by showing two flowers bending and touching when they wanted to depict a kiss between the hero and heroine. Public kissing is frowned upon in India’s conservative society, and even a peck on the cheek can upset some people. An arrest warrant was briefly issued for Hollywood star Richard Gere in 2007 after he kissed the cheek of Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty at an AIDS awareness rally. Indian movie directors and producers have grown fed up with what they see as curbs on their creativity. Many in India’s vibrant movie industry see the censorship board as an outdated and bureaucratic irritation and regularly push for censors to allow more. Thankfully, Nihalani can’t cut youtube videos of Monica Belluci, Lea Seydoux or Daniel Craig by 50 per cent. And, clearly, he is so awfully cut off from what Mr. Bond thinks of Monica Belluci. “We’re talking about Monica Bellucci, for heaven’s sake. When someone like that wants to be a Bond girl, you just count yourself lucky!” Daniel Craig said in an interview to
The Independent. And, he probably doesn’t have Bond’s instinct for entertainment either. Wonder what the Censor Board CEO is trying to cut out. Belluci is on screen for all of a few minutes at best, first in exquisite silhouette and then up close in an intimate clinch with the passionate, seductive hedonist Mr Bond. She says to him, unaware as yet of his name while he leans in ever closer to her lips: ‘Then you’re obviously crazy, Mr…’ ‘Bond. James Bond,’ he utters in a low growl, the iconic introduction complete.
The Daily Mail UK has for you what the Censor Board CEO may have chopped off.
Variety has details on other kisses in Indian movies that have been stopped short. And, what does French actress Lea Seydoux have to say about kissing Mr. Bond? “Awkward and surreal,” she says to Daily Mail. “I don’t mind the cliché of the Bond girl. But Madeleine, she is very different. And to choose me as a Bond girl, it’s a choice. A statement. I’m not the typical James Bond girl.’ French star Lea has previously starred in Inglourious Basterds, Midnight in Paris, Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol and The Grand Budapest Hotel. In an interview to
The Wall Street Journal, Seydoux explains what it is about James Bond that makes these movies so big. Yeah, he’s a misogynist and an alcoholic and womanizer and killer. But you know, it’s why we like this character so much. Daniel created something where we can feel a Bond who has emotion. Cinema is about emotions. It seems making a
video about India by showing locations which are not in India was not enough for Central Board of Film Certification (CBFC) chief Pahlaj Nihalani. [caption id=“attachment_2513014” align=“alignleft” width=“380”] Maybe this is what it will take to please the censor board. Image courtesy: @styl_ai/Twitter[/caption] Now, the CBFC has decided that the kissing scenes in Spectre, the latest James Bond movie, are too long. Of course, the censor board’s habit of moral policing and cutting scenes from films that display sexuality is quite old. Kissing scenes have been MIA from films in Indian theatres for quite a while now. However, this case is special because the censor board went one step ahead in terms of its stupidity and decided that the the length of the kisses in Spectre was “too excessive”, reported
The Times of India. So, according to the censor board, kissing is fine as long as there is a time limit attached to it. “Both of Daniel Craig’s kisses with his co-stars have been reduced by 50 per cent. The censor board had nothing against James Bond kissing. But the length of the kisses were found to be unnecessarily excessive,”
DNA quoted a source as saying. This decision by the censor board sparked outrage on Twitter, where people began mocking this decision with the hashtag #SanskariJamesBond, showing the censor board why trying to impose its ideas of morality on a James Bond movie was a bad idea. Here are some of those hilarious tweets:
#SanskariJamesBond just after the Ayudha pooja
— STYL (@styl_ai) November 18, 2015
P.S: Mooch styled on @styl_ai pic.twitter.com/zDrkFU2KJ0
Impact Shorts
More Shorts#SanskariJamesBond with his latest gadgets! pic.twitter.com/baMMG38IUE
— Keh Ke Peheno (@coolfunnytshirt) November 18, 2015
#SanskariJamesBond 's new car. pic.twitter.com/Z2FSvFh0BQ
— Trendulkar (@Trendulkar) November 18, 2015
Here's The Quint's take on #SanskariJamesBond. Tweet us your take. pic.twitter.com/peRR0BHwXx
— The Quint (@TheQuint) November 18, 2015
#SanskariJamesBond where Bond girls wear this. pic.twitter.com/J98icCkly9
— Arnab Ray (@greatbong) November 18, 2015
Kissing scene in #SanskariJamesBond movie ;) Courtesy: Censor Board pic.twitter.com/KmYpaJg2q6
— Movies Now (@moviesnowtv) November 18, 2015
Alok Nath already gearing up for the lead role of #SanskariJamesBond pic.twitter.com/YMNTPbDjtq
— Sand-d Singh (@Sand_In_Deed) November 18, 2015
When sanskari james bond returns. pic.twitter.com/Axn1Uz4T11
— woke (@hawashmi) November 18, 2015
#SanskariJamesBond
— Ramesh Srivats (@rameshsrivats) November 18, 2015
Chikoo and milk. Shaken, not stirred.
#SanskariJamesBond titles
— Peter Griffin isn’t spending much time here (@zigzackly) November 18, 2015
The Man with the Gold Chain on Hairy Chest
The Spy Who Eve-Teased Me
Muckraker
For Your Aai Only
Octo[censored]
His ringtone is the Gayatri Mantra #SanskariJamesBond
— Kaveri 🇮🇳 (@ikaveri) November 18, 2015
The name is Bond. Jamnadas Bond #SanskariJamesBond
— Madhavan Narayanan (@madversity) November 18, 2015
Bond cannot kiss but moms in law can torture, bahus can cook up devious plots, ichadhari nagins, evil murders all over TV #SanskariJamesBond
— atiya zaidi (@atiyaz) November 18, 2015
#SanskariJamesBond had to fill nineteen forms and bribe six Babus before he could get his licence to kill.
— Deepak Mohoni (@deepakmohoni) November 18, 2015
#SanskariJamesBond Girl pic.twitter.com/T3UV6392pa
— ADM (@jhunjhunwala) November 18, 2015
What do Spectre & Prem Ratan Dhan Payo have in common? Both are about FAMILY BOND. #SanskariJamesBond
— Sudhish Kamath (@SudhishKamath) November 18, 2015
#SanskariJamesBond seduces women by lighting aggarbattis in his bedroom and then introduces them to his Mom.
— Ray Stings (@Purba_Ray) November 18, 2015
No one messes with #SanskariJamesBond because he always carries a 9mm semi automatic Rakhi with him.
— Roflindian (@Roflindian) November 18, 2015
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