Editor’s note: Firstpost is holding a series of conversations with Indians in the US, across its campuses, offices and households, to understand how caste discrimination pervades the community just as much as it does back home in India. Hosted by Thenmozhi Soundararajan, Dalit rights activist, artist, technologist and executive director of Equality Labs, the podcast cracks taboos about caste among Indians in the US. Listen to more episodes
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. *** In Episode 6: ~ I asked, ‘After you graduate would you care about your identity or would you reveal it if somebody is abusing Dalits in general?’ They said, ‘No, the Telugu community is very strong in the Tech circle. They will use this connection to get a job and if anybody in the Telugu community finds out they are Dalits, it is going to have major, major repercussions for their professional career as well.’ What was shocking to me was that, yes my peers were silently suffering casteist abuse by pretending to hide their identity, by pretending to be what they were not. Also, they were already scared before they’ve even entered the workforce. I further asked them if they would ever divulge their identity, eventually. They said, “No, we want to make sure we have a good career and good connections to get a job which will stay. If we out ourselves, they will kick us out of their niche tech circles.” ~ This is a conversation that took place between Suresh Attri and his peers, while they were studying at a university in the US. The students Suresh is talking to here, witnessed him getting into a confrontation with two Indians who were indulging in casteist behaviour. They later approached him and requested him not to get embroiled in such confrontations, as the repercussions would be severe. On further prodding, it dawns on Suresh that the ones warning him off were Dalits themselves. Listen to the full episode of Caste in the USA to find out more about Suresh’s experiences of casteism in American universities, within Telugu circles in the US and among friends. *** Listen to Caste in the USA, Episode 6 here: *** Read the complete transcript for Episode 6: Thenmozhi Soundararajan: Jai Bhim and Jai Savitri, everyone. I am Thenmozhi Soundararajan, and this is the podcast - Caste In the United States with Firstpost. Today’s episode is a conversation with Suresh Attri. Suresh is an American Ambedkarite leader whose leadership is impactful, both in the anti-caste movement and in Tech. Today he is here to talk about his experiences of caste in American universities and caste in friendships. Welcome, Suresh. Suresh Attri: Thank you for having me, Jai Bhim and Jai Savitri. Thenmozhi Soundararajan: So Suresh I wanted to ask you, I mean many North American universities are very immigrant-heavy and south-Asian, I wanted to see what was your experience among your peers? Suresh Attri: Sure and thanks for bringing this question up. I feel it is important to talk about academia here, in the US. We have seen what’s happening in CISCO and caste in general in the tech sector. What pokes no more is what happens in the industry and people are in the workforce, but in my experience, this discrimination happens - before our folks even enter the workforce and are preparing to go into the workforce in schools. I had a very troubling casteist interaction with caste-Hindus back in school. So what happened was, on one particular day, me and a bunch of other fellow Indians students were working in a lab in the summer. We had a summer job/internship and it was a pretty diverse lab, we had students from all over the world. We had Chinese students, Indians, Americans, Brazilians, Europeans and it was a mixed bunch. One day it so happened that after the lab was about to close for some reason in the lab it was just Indians remaining who were working at the time maybe because we were finishing up work, I think we were doing a bit of over-time, this a while ago. What happened was when all the other non-Indians excited the room, the lab, one PhD student from Kerala started talking about Indian politics, Indian culture in general, and he was joined by another Master’s student. While they were talking about Indian culture in general they switched to speaking in Hindi because they knew nobody else in the room was non-Indian, all the others were Indians. While they were talking about Indian culture, suddenly this guy, who was doing his PhD, he switched the conversation to caste. He started talking about his caste and ancestry and he started to talk about his proud Namboodri roots and how proud he was to be a Namboodri Brahmin and he quickly went from his proud casteist heritage that in his mind was superior, to berating and insulting Dalits. He started using words like, this is great that we don’t have these Dalits, these folks who seek reservation or affirmative action in India, who seek these facilities in India, it is great that we don’t have these people to pollute the US campuses in the American universities. And then he was joined by the other student, the student doing his Master’s, who said ‘you know what don’t worry about it these folks are not meritorious enough, not brainy enough to be able to even come to the United States in the first place to study on these campuses and even if they somehow manage to come here, because they are not capable enough, they will just fail all these academic courses, they will never complete their curriculum, they will end up working in blue-collar jobs here and maybe they will go back. And then to this the guy said ‘oh yea that’s great’, and then he used the word, ‘these lower-caste scums’ should remain back in India and they should do the job that they have been relegated to and that will be good, they shouldn’t come here because they don’t deserve to be here. I was listening, and I was reading the room. I was trying to look at the face of other Indian students who were also listening to the exchange, most of them were not reacting, they were just going about doing their job, pretending as if nothing was happening, and I was, my feelings were going from shock to horror to anger. I am listening to these two guys and they continue insulting and berating Dalits by saying ‘I am glad these scums don’t come here and if they do they are not smart enough’. They were demonising Dalits, and it was a terrible exchange. I reached a point where I could not bear to listen anymore so I decided to insert myself in their dialogue, and I said ‘hey guys we are all working in this lab, why are you trying to be casteist monsters’, so I choose my words carefully to challenge and to get them to stop. So the moment I said this both of them were shocked and they looked at me and said, why do you care? That’s when I realised that I now had the opportunity to try and change their understanding of Dalits and let’s see if that works. So I told them you guys are talking about Dalits not being brainy enough, intellectually capable enough to be in this country and go ahead and get a degree from a US university, I am here to tell you, I do care because as you said why do you care I am a Dalit? And I knew the second guy, the guy from his Master’s, a little bit more than I knew the guy who was doing his PhD, and I knew his grade point average because he would tell me, I knew his academic course work grade because he would casually mention that to me, so I told him, look at your grade point, he was 3.3 GP at the time, and I am almost at 4, I was at 3.9 GP so by every objective measure of educational outcomes I am better than you and I kept telling him that I am better than you, I have more intellectual ability than you based on this university’s system and that when I said that he was shocked, he was red-faced. So I told both of them, that you guys have an outdated, casteist, monstrous belief that folks who are Dalit cannot come here in the first place and even if they won’t be able to pass, and I told them I am getting better grades and not just grades you guys don’t do anything outside academics, I am a very active participant in a bunch of student organisations on campus and I am in a lot of extra-curricular and co-curricular activities, so by every objective measure I am better than you. So maybe now is the time for you to realise that what you are saying is outdated, it is cruel and it is wrong - morally wrong - we are all equal, and by the way, this university does not allow for discrimination, this campus does not allow for discrimination. So when I said this they went from being shocked to completely flabbergasted and then the guy, who was doing his PhD who started this conversation, was red-faced in anger and the guy, who was doing his Master’s, went from being shocked to being flabbergasted to completely embarrassed, and from there on he didn’t say a word, he was so flustered that he didn’t know what to say or how to react. But this PhD guy had so much vitriol, so much venom in him and he started saying you guys have also come to this campus and you are trying to humiliate us. And I said no, I am better because I am at least free from this casteist mentality and this slavery that you have in your mind, what a terrible way to live, what a reduced way to live your life and you come here in the US and you are talking about caste, if you are so happy why did you go back? I tried to challenge him and I tried to tell him that he was wrong, he got angrier at that point, his caste pride was kicking in, I could see him flinching his fists, he was really mad and he couldn’t do anything to challenge me, and that’s why he was getting angrier by the minute. So we went from having an exchange to having an altercation - he tried to badmouth me, he tried to abuse me - and I said just stop right here, I am not going to have any of this, this is not your village, which your ancestors dominate, this is the United States, if you go further I want you to know that this university has a strong commitment to equity and diversity, and if you say anything further this matter will go to the university administration, so he at that point, did not realise that I was telling him to stop, but he was so angry and it felt like his casteist ego was so bruised. For him it was like ‘how dare you Dalit challenge me?’ so this Master’s guy told him ‘hey, you need to stop, this may go to university authorities and we don’t want that’. So he essentially grabbed this PhD guy out of the room and with them all other Indian students as well. The other Indian students, when I told them I am Dalit they all looked at me as if they were not expecting it, they were all shocked as well so a bunch of them exited the room and I was just standing there finishing up my work. And then there were two other students who were standing in the room listening to all this quietly, they did not say a word, they did not bat an eyelid, they did not react. Then they came up to me and said ‘hey brother, that was brave but you shouldn’t have done that’. So I said, ‘okay, you called me brother, are you guys Dalits too?’ because the way they approached me, the way they were talking to me I had a sense that they had some sense of empathy about this whole altercation that had just happened, and then they said ‘yes we are Dalits’. They happened to be from the outskirts of Hyderabad and at the time it was part of Andra Pradesh, before the state became Telangana, so they were Telugu students and they said, ‘yes we are Dalits as well’. So I asked them how come you guys were listening to all of this silently, and why didn’t you guys react? They said, ‘brother we do not want any of this, trust me, these people have a very strong circle and now that you told them you are Dalit they will ostracise you from the Indian student community’. I told them that I don’t care, you can not stay silent anymore and listen to this casteist abuse, and they said ‘yeah but you know we don’t want this, we avoid all of that’ and I said ‘but what are you so afraid of?’ Then they said if we out ourselves, if we reveal our identity then our Telugu roommates will kick us out and I said, ‘what do you mean they will kick you out?’ They said, ‘well, when we came to the United States to do our Master’s, we were looking for accommodation and it is natural that you tend to go with folks that speak the same language, are from a similar background and culture because it is easy to live, because remember we don’t have any family here, we don’t have anybody that we know, so obviously, naturally we want to stay with somebody who understands us and is from the same geographical area,’ and I understood that. Then they said, ‘the problem was that the folks we found a room to live with, they were Telugu but they told us from day 1 that they would only allow people from the upper-caste or as I call them oppressor castes to live with them, they would not allow any Dalits live with them, so they asked them, ‘what is your caste?’ So these two Dalit Telugu students said they lied about their caste so that they would be able to get an accommodation with fellow Telugu students on an American university. I was shocked when I heard that, so they said ‘look they have their name on the lease for the apartment and if they find out about our caste, they will kick us out the same day because they said they will not allow Dalits or other lower castes to live them, because they don’t want to be polluted.’ So I asked them ‘how are you guys living?’, they said ‘you know, we have essentially blinded ourselves, we do not care whenever they bring up any casteist discourse, we just go about our business, we live in the house, we do our homework, we do our academic course work and we do our work, and in a semester we will graduate and off we go. And I said, ‘after you graduate would you care about your identity or would you reveal it somebody is abusing Dalits in general?’ And they said ‘no, the Telugu community is very strong in the tech circle, in the tech profession and they will use this connection to get a job, and if anybody in the Telugu community finds out they are Dalits it is going to have major, major repercussions for their professional career as well.’ So what was shocking to me was that, yes, they were silently suffering casteist abuse by pretending to hide their identity, by pretending to be what they were not and also they were already scared before they even entered the workforce. Because they knew even if they outed their identity after they graduated or revealed their identity in a matter of alleviating their burden, that was burdening them because I could tell while they were talking to me they felt burdened by those lies or by the burden of hiding their identity. So I asked them if you could be released, would you do that? And they said ’no, we want to make sure we have a good career and good connections to get a job and then stay working. If we out ourselves they will kick us out of their niche tech circles’. So that whole incident was shocking to hear from them.