Bigly Yuge: First lady, second lady, third lady? Melania Trump triples down

There has been much confusion among the White House’s kitchen and housekeeping staff over the past weeks, making these jobs even more stressful for employees.

It started with three internal telephone calls that came in simultaneously at precisely 9.29 am on 21 October.

A lady with a thick east European accent ordered lighter bowling ball from the bowling alley, located right below the steps of the north Portico, saying: “Too heavy bowlings for me and Barron, get me pair of Donald’s”.

A second lady, speaking in a thick East European accent, called at exactly the same time from the First Lady’s east wing offices, ordering oyster shell paper clips.

And a third lady, with a thick East European accent, called from the solarium (or the sun room) that sits on top of the main building, at 9.29 am asking for binoculars: “The protest too small with naked eye.”

How could Melania Trump be in all three places at the same time, alarmed staffers having been asking themselves. They have created the hashtag #willtherealmelaniastandup.

This is a work of satire

The writer is a journalist and author of Aarushi_, an account of the murder investigation and ensuing trial_