Uwe's Got Them Bolls of Steel

Do you hate Uwe Boll so much you want to tear his head off? Well unless you’re the Hulk, that’s probably not going to happen, but what if I told you you could kick his ass? You’re thinking there’s no way that’s happening right … oh but wait, there is! You see, our man’s so sick of being trashed by nearly everyone on the planet he’s ready to fight back … literally. Towards the ending of filming the POSTAL movie, he’s going to fly five of the most out spoken critics on the internet to Vancouver to “Put up or Shut Up”. These five critics will be put up in hotel rooms, courtesy of Boll and will have an opportunity to go one on one against him in a Boxing Match. These five critics will have ten rounds to layeth the smack down on him and some of these matches will even find their way to the POSTAL movie. “To be eligible you must be a critic who has posted on the internet or have written in magazines / newspapers at least two extremely negative articles in the year 2005. Critics of 2006 will not be considered. All challengers must be healthy males, weighing between 64 kilograms (140 lbs.) and 86 kilograms (190 lbs.). You will require to be physically examined by a doctor and sign the necessary release forms for liability, etc. You will not be paid or entitled to any residuals or fees. Your transportation & hotel costs will be covered.” It seems Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avary (Silent Hill, Pulp Fiction), two of Boll’s harshest critics are likely contenders, so all you have to do is compete against around 5,00,000 billion people to make the list. To apply for this “Put up or Shut up” contest (well sort off), mail Boll at mailto:info@boll-kg.de I think Uwe’s under the assumption most critics are pasty, skinny little geeks who live in their parent’s basement, and for his sake, I hope he’s right.