Blessed be thy checkmark: Twitter “verifies” ‘Jesus Christ’, ‘Satan’ and ‘God’ on Twitter

Twitter may have had some serious issues in the past, but there were certain accounts or profiles on the platform, that made the platform a rather humorous place to be on. The Twitter account of a user, impersonating Jesus Christ, was one such account.  

To give you an idea of just how crazy Twitter’s current verification programme is, Twitter has “verified” the account of Jesus Christ. Now, normally, that would have meant that this particular account was the original, official account of the deity.   Instead of referring to God, posts referencing Jesus’ father simply address him as Dad. There’s also a post that shows support for the Ukraine, and another that says, “Christians hate this one simple trick that gets you into heaven. Love." However, not only is this a known parody account, that indulges in some of the most hilarious shitposting on the internet, it also doesn’t follow one of Musk’s cardinal rules - of declaring itself a parody account. Instead, Christ just has replied to a tweet.

This is a parody https://t.co/NhzLdQZqwG

— Jesus Christ (@jesus) November 7, 2022

‘Satan’ and ‘God’ have also been “verified” on Twitter, just like Jesus Christ was. Both, God and Satan, however, have mentioned that these are parody accounts. Christ, meanwhile just has his old caption, reading “Carpenter, Healer, God”.

Basically, what has happened here, is that “Jesus” has bought a subscription of Twitter Blue by paying $8 a month. It actually feels a bit weird that this has to be explained to people that Twitter did not really verify a parody account to be the official and original account of deity.   What feels even weirder is the fact that despite so many examples of people creating parody accounts and announcing some really bizarre things, Elon Musk and his team of enforcers on Twitter haven’t been able to fix the flaw that their system of “verified” blue ticks. The easiest step to follow would be to assign a badge with a different colour for Twitter Blue subscribers. Even the plan to put up an “Official” label with a grey checkmark looked nice and made some sense, but for some reason, that was killed. Twitter really needs to come up with a way to differentiate between originally verified profiles or profiles of prominent people and entities, and profiles that have the Twitter Blue subscription. While this may be fun and games for now, someone, somewhere, is bound to get hurt, especially, given just how ruthless and vile people behind a smear campaign can be.