St Peter's Twitter Gospel

• Remember Follow

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Fridays and keep them holy.

• As ye tweet, thus shall ye be retweeted.

• Thou shalt not stalk thy neighbour’s followers in the hope that they follow ye.

• Thou shalt not plug thy status updates into Facebook, that barren land of nonbelievers & quiz-takers.

• Thou shalt not bear false witness. That includes tweeting stuff you only actually saw on TV.

• Honour thy father and thy mother. What happens at home shalt not be tweeted. (Unless, of course, thy parents tweeted first). (You *really* shouldn’t have got them on to Twitter, y’know.)

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• Thou shalt get back to work, hm?

• Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s ass. Well, okay, maybe if s/he’s really callipygous.

• If ye seek to be retweeted, ye shall ensure that thy tweets have enough characters left over to permit it.

• Thou shalt casually mention @gulpanag">@gulpanag in thy tweets, as if you’re, like, friends and all.

• Thou shalt quit while thou art ahead.

• Thou shalt not relentlessly pimp thy blog.

• Retweeting yourself - or RTing what others tweet to you - is bad form. Only SEOs do that.