Nishtha KanalOct 24, 2013 16:47:44 IST
Facebook has spent a better part of this week flip-flopping over whether or not it should let videos depicting violent acts such as beheading exist on the website. The social networking website lifted a blanket ban it had levied on videos of people being beheaded by violent extremists, only if the poster in this case had been condemning the act.
Of course, this is one of the silliest things we’ve all heard. The person in question was needed to put in a caption that indicated that he did not subscribe to the brand of violence. Facebook soon saw its erroneous ways and decided to make yet another U-turn and ban these videos altogether.
Now, this made us think of all the other kind of posts that deserve to be booted off the website and made a nice little list for you. We’re sure you will find these as irksome as we do, but if you don’t, be nice, for one man’s poison is another’s food. Or was it the other way round?
Right from images of deities appearing randomly in the sky and want you to share the badly photoshopped image to posts about how the Internet culture is ruining the newer generation. These kinds of posts deserve to be kicked off Facebook for good.
Imagine scrolling through your News Feed, checking out all those funny images and posts, followed by some from relatives and bam! Here’s a completely baseless, off the mark post about some religion’s superiority hits you like a medicinal pill inside a gulab-jamun. The funny bit about posts that tell you that the Internet is ruining religion are actually using the Internet to post them. Irony just stabbed itself and jumped off a cliff.
We’d rather set fire to your FarmVille farm and violently murder your pets in PetVille. The next time Facebook asks you if you wish to invite your friends to play a Ville game, remember that if they wanted to, they’d already be playing it. I mean, hasn’t everyone on Earth and neighbouring planets heard about how awesome growing crops are? Give it a rest, guys.
Oh wait, apparently bursting colourful candies on Candy Crush Saga is the new in-thing on Facebook. In any case, it isn’t really difficult for you to simply say “I don’t wish to invite my friends,” instead of thinking, “Oh yes, I know who’d love to play this game. My classmate from kindergarten with whom my only interaction anymore is a happy birthday post once a year.”
That's a promise
The Facebook couple:
We all know one pair of this sort, don’t we? The Facebook couple’s entire relationship consists of putting up daily updates of their love online. From how the significant other woke them up to what they ate together in lunch, and oh, look, he even bunked office to be with her during lunch time, all of this is neatly documented on Facebook. It is also documented on Twitter and Instagram that are synced to Facebook and all you can see on your News Feed is cotton candy fluff and rainbows.
Facebook banning canoodling couple updates off the website will ensure that you won’t feel overtly pessimistic about your own Forever Alone status and will actually try to go out and socialise with the hope of finding love. Just don’t start posting on the website once you do.
OMG, no one cares!
Admittedly, Sly tweets are worse than sly Facebook posts but it gets increasingly difficult to ignore them once they start popping up on your News Feed over and over again – no thanks to you, Facebook’s new algorithm. Facebook’s newest “Say what you’re doing” emoticon laden status updater has only made sly posts worse.
You can now use an emoticon to show you’re all sad and dejected or even happy and gay – pun unintended – without really needing to say why. The “Missing someone,” “Thinking of someone,” “I loved you so much but you broke my heart when you fell in love with my twin sister,” posts are just plain irksome. These are just waiting for comments like “What happened, baby?” pretty much like that annoying uncle of yours waits for you to ask “Who’s there?” to his sad knock-knock jokes. And you know things are just going downhill when the reply to the aforementioned “What happened, baby?” is plain and simple, “Nothing”. Let’s start a petition.
Please ban this
1 like=1salute, 1 share=100 salutes:
The sooner we all get used to the fact that our liking a post or sharing it will not feed hungry children in Africa, the better. When did paying respects go from actually talking about it to hitting the like button, we’ll never know but it sure is a shoddy state of affairs. Not to mention the sudden increase in hungry kids, some in hospitals with tumours and some who wish for education staring at you from the image. Worse are the guys who end up sharing these images to display their sympathetic side. You could just go to a charity and help out instead, you know.
The worst kind of combination, though, would be the religious bigot who asks you to share images, lest the Gods descend from heaven and spite you.
I love you mom, and I will share this!
Come now, Facebook. Make surfing your website a more pleasant experience for us. What are things that you think Facebook should ban off its website? Tell us in the comments section below.
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