The date is 25 December, 2016.
At the receiving end of a 4-0 drubbing at the hands of India, the England cricket team seeks solace in the festive season. At the team hotel, the Alastair Cook-led squad is about to tuck into a delicious Christmas dinner, when a series of events unfolds, threatening to change the team's understanding of Christmas, jokes and Virat Kohli forever.
Here's a vague transcript (we can only half vouch for its authenticity):
Updated Date: Dec 21, 2016 15:07:14 IST