Staying quiet was difficult: Sachin unveils autobiography, bares soul to all

Sachin Tendulkar created huge controversy when he disclosed that the then India coach Greg Chappell had made a “shocking” suggestion for him to take over India’s captaincy from Rahul Dravid months before the 2007 World Cup in West Indies. “Together, we could control Indian cricket for years”, the Australian had allegedly told Sachin during a visit to his home when he offered to “help me in taking over the reins of the side” from Dravid, the master batsman wrote in his autobiography “Playing it My Way” . India’s 2007 World Cup campaign had ended in a fiasco with the team winning only one of the three group matches against lowly Bermuda, and losing to Bangladesh and Sri Lanka. Lashing out at Chappell, Sachin said in his book that the Australian must take a lot of responsibility for the mess resulting from India’s performance in the World Cup. Sachin’s book was released on Wednesday in Mumbai, and the night before he sat down wiht a select group of journalists to discuss the book: On Batting at No 4 Achrekar Sir got me into that habit of batting at No 4. And it was right from when I started. Maybe in school cricket, I possibly batted at No 6 and then gradually moved to No 4. But I think I started my career from No 4. [caption id=“attachment_1789679” align=“alignleft” width=“380”] Sachin Tendulkar during his childhood. GettyImages[/caption] Did you ask Achrekar Sir why No 4? No, I didn’t. I think I was too young to ask anything about that. I said if I am getting a chance to bat, it doesn’t matter where I am as long as I am getting to bat. I was happy. I never questioned what number and all that. Toughest part of the book to reveal Recalling everything took me some time. I think the most difficult part to reveal was the relationship between Anjali and me. I have always kept that close to my heart and very few guys know about it, including my family and her family. In a few months, they got to know. So, that was something that was close to my heart. Motivation behind the book I come from a literary family background. My father wrote, my brothers wrote, my eldest brother wrote and then Ajit also wrote. I thought this is a good opportunity to describe whatever I have been through in my life. I wouldn’t settle for anything else. I thoroughly enjoyed whatever has come in my life and I thank God for it. I just wanted to share that with everyone. It is impossible to share each and everything that has happened in my life but as long as there has been an honest and sincere effort in sharing my thoughts, that is what matters. So I just wanted to play it my way. Mike Denness controversy I remember, when we met after the game, somebody told me after the game that they had asked 7 or 8 guys to come. Out of those names, my name was there. And it was for the so called ball tampering. So I was shocked and I didn’t know how to respond to them because I don’t remember anything like that which had happened. I also asked the umpires if they had found any change in the condition of the ball and the umpires said no nothing at all and they had not complained anything to the match referee. I went to the match referee and said that and told him that I was just cleaning the seam. And as we all know that it was a green top we played on and I said I was just doing it. And he said I should have told the umpires and which I did and one thing I learnt from that for the rest of my cricketing career whenever I was cleaning the ball was to tell the umpires and the umpires would smile at me but I said I better do it. So that was one lesson I learnt from it. Controversies in the book All I have said is spoken the truth. And before this I had an important job on hands to play well for India and focus on what I am supposed to do. I felt that by engaging myself into other things which are not going to contribute to me playing better cricket should not take up any energy. All my energy should be focused on the direction that it is meant to be and that was playing cricket and getting better at that. It was a conscious effort not just by me but also my family members, to stay focused on cricket and nothing else. And I said once my cricket is done than maybe I would speak my mind and if I disagreed with something I could opine myself. Difficult changing your stance on that Staying quiet was difficult because there were times I felt like talking. I felt like I should still focus on my game because one article would be followed by another article and I don’t want to get into that tangle. It was always wiser I felt that I followed up with bigger scores rather than better articles. Picked up your best XI of all time No, I haven’t picked. I didn’t think of it and, to be honest, it is really tough. [caption id=“attachment_1789669” align=“alignleft” width=“380”] Sachin Tendulkar chose to stay from writing about fixing. Getty Sports[/caption] Remember every delivery or you kept some sort of notes In the earlier part of my career when I started playing, I maintained a diary which is not there. I lost it somewhere. But I did for the first two years of my life, and I mentioned my scores, the way I scored, the way I got out and the number of boundaries. So those kind of things I maintained. When I started playing for India, almost 10 years or so, I would go back and watch video cassettes, I would take back the recording of all my hundreds and all the innings, and all the dismissals also. I would go back home and study it with my brother. I stopped after 10 years or so and then as and when I felt like then I would. About your game, Controversies, Anecdotes. How much have you addressed them in your book? Everything I have addressed. There are some funny incidents. There are some so called controversial things also. There are also number of areas where I have expressed what was going through my mind, what was my preparation, what was the idea behind doing that, so I have sort of covered everything including my personal life which I thought was the difficult thing for me to write. But I have covered most of the areas. Will the book accurately tell what you were thinking? I thought about the media support I have received not only after I was playing for India but right from the school days. I remember when I scored my first hundred, there was an article on that. I also remember the first time my name appeared in a newspaper, my score was 24. One of the guys, who brought up the score sheet and gave it to all the newspapers, told me that ‘if you add six more runs and take your score to 30 your name will appear in the newspapers.’ It was my first game in my life and I didn’t know what I was. So I told him ‘if you think that is fine then do it’ and he did that. But my Sir [Ramakant Achrekar] caught me and that was a big lesson in life. Sir told me, ‘if you wish to see your name in the newspaper then you better score runs.’ So that was a big lesson I learnt. But overall, if I see, the media has been fair, although it is impossible to agree with whatever the media has said. There have occasions where I have completely disagreed with the media. But then, as I have already said, I didn’t want to retaliate and I wanted to stay focused and let my bat do all the talking. After the bat has been taken away, I can speak a little bit and then hopefully respect what I have tried to express. Have you written why you failed with captaincy? I have never believed in criticising the players I have played with. It’s wrong. If you go back and look at the scoreboard, that itself would give a lot of explanations. Basically, we were not able to pick up 20 wickets. Neither were we able to put up big totals. When we played in India, we beat South Africa, we beat Australia. So we had that success. But I thought, on occasions, there were matches which I thought we should have won in South Africa, Australia and West Indies. It was a big disappointment that we were not able to turn that in our favour. I always believe that you are going to have good games and you are going to have bad games. But in the good games, you have to make sure you finish well. The good games should not be 80 percent or 90 percent and then the last 10 percent someone comes and takes the game away from you. That happened on a few occasions which sort of either builds good momentum or takes the momentum away from you. So that is what had happened. Were you harsh on yourself as captain? I wanted to give my best and I always did it. And if results which I earlier spoke about, the matches we should have won. There were disappointments in those games and it really hurt me. It really disturbed me that the games which were in our pockets were taken away from us. So those are huge disappointments and I felt really bad at that time. But in any sportsman’s career, there is a mixed package deal. Sometimes, there are fantastic moments like at Lord’s when I was not the captain. We were chasing 323 runs and we were something 120-odd for five wickets down and unfortunately, it didn’t happen under my captaincy. Now here a couple of guys are batting and the captain has got nothing to do with winning the game. Also, in Bangladesh, when we tried [Robin Singh at No. 3] the same move which I tried in Sharjah with Robin Singh, it didn’t click but here, against a better bowling attack it worked. So sometimes, you don’t have any explanation when things work and when things don’t work. [caption id=“attachment_1789681” align=“alignleft” width=“380”] Sachin said he only stood for the things he was sure of. PTI[/caption] Why did you never take a stand on major issues, such as fixing If you see in my book, in whatever [issues] which people believe I should stand for, the only things which I am 100 percent sure of I stood for that in my book. If you have read some of the articlesm I have expressed myself wholeheartedly but the things which were not first hand information it is unwise to do that, it is a loose statement and I didn’t want to fire loose statements. Did you ever think while you were playing that some players under performed? No, I mean the guys fail and who doesn’t fail in life, everyone fails. It would be unfair to just pinpoint at someone and say that he was under performing, didn’t try his best, I can’t. I have played the sport for 24 years and failures do happen. Something which you wanted to reveal but didn’t? I think whatever things I never 100 percent I revealed it all because I back up those things. But the things I am not aware of fully it would be unwise to comment on those. I should have some evidence, I should know something in details to talk about it because then it makes sense and it will be appreciated by people. But if I just start talking then it will not have any value. Why did you quit captaincy? It had started affecting me as a person. And every defeat that I faced or experienced it really hurt me and off the field also when I was back with my family I couldn’t switch over I would be constantly thinking about it. I started disturbing me and affecting me personally so I felt that if I could contribute as a player and give all the suggestions to the next captain as far as I concerned if I am not the captain it does not mean that cricket is taken away from me. Still someone else is going to come and captain the side. If I still score runs and I win matches I would still be happy and it would give me as much satisfaction. Yes, things didn’t go according to plans when I was the captain and it was a disappointment but I thought if I could move on to the next chapter and contribute significantly to something which people would remember in time to come then it has lot of value. Not getting the team was the main reason? I wouldn’t say all the time, it happened only on certain occasions but not always. Batting at No. 4 in ODIs Batting at No. 4, Greg told me [in 2007] I don’t know the logic behind it because before that I was opening. Just before the World Cup, we came back from South Africa. It was less than two months before the World Cup when we played three ODIs against the West Indies in India I was told that I would bat at No. 4. If I am not mistaken all the teams had started preparing for the World Cup around 10-12 months or longer than that before that and all those months I was opening the innings. And I was told then that I would be batting at No. 4 and my logic was that I have been able to contribute as an opener and that is where I have played the maximum number of matches in my career so I should continue doing that. We tried this experiment earlier also in South Africa but it didn’t bring any success and we lost even to Natal B in a couple of games and that is when John [Wright] came to my room and said ‘in my personal capacity as a friend I am asking you where would you like to bat’ and I said ‘if it is from the team’s point of view, I am willing to bat whenever you want me to bat but in my personal opinion I should open because I believe that I go out and can control the innings. I can bring much more to the table as an opener, with all the experience I have I think I can do a better job.’ And that was my conversation also in 2007. Losing the Barbados Test It hurts. It is possibly one of those matches right at the top. I remember having sleepless nights. I cried, I didn’t cry in front of everyone. I did cry, it was just that outburst inside me and I let it go. It was really, really bad. I was shocked. [caption id=“attachment_1789685” align=“alignleft” width=“380”] File photo of Greg Chappell with Sachin. Reuters[/caption] Disappointed with how things turned out under Chappell I remember precisely the first two tours I missed and there was controversy in Sri Lanka and in Zimbabwe and I wasn’t there on both those tours. We played the Challenger Trophy and driving back from Mohali and Zaheer Khan, Ajit Agarkar, possibly Harbhajan Singh and a couple of guys were there. We were all travelling together and that is when the players said that we don’t feel comfortable under Greg. I clearly told them he has joined us and we should be accommodate him and give him a chance. I said we should let him settle down for any coach to settle down it does take time so allow him that. I said ‘I feel you guys are rushing in and it is unfair’ and I had sided with him. But along the period I experienced with him I think in retrospect the players were right. Why do you think Greg behaved the way he did? I don’t know. I wish it could understand what he was trying to do. Didn’t you tell Dravid when Chappell told you to take over captaincy? I didn’t want to do all that. As far as I was concerned the matter was over right there because I didn’t accept it so I felt the battle was over. And I didn’t want to create that atmosphere in the team because it was just the beginning of my stint with Greg. I hadn’t played a single game with Greg till then, I had undergone surgery and it was a few months before the World Cup and that is when he came to talk to me. How tough was it writing about your team mates? I don’t think there should be any problem because I am not hurting anyone. Whatever I have stated in my book I have been transparent with my team mates so I don’t think there is any animosity in the team. Whatever I have written in my book everyone knows about it except a couple of things like the Greg comment. Whatever is related to the players I have always clarified with them face to face. Surprised that Greg said you are lying Anjali was with me then so I need not say more. On Ian Chappell’s comments when he said Tendulkar should retire in 2007 I don’t think much about him. I showed him the size of the mirror in the VB Series in 2007 so I don’t need to go out and prove to anyone. He has got nothing do with Indian cricket and it just another opinion. Sometimes I feel people are given too much importance. The guy asking me to stand in front of the mirror has possibly failed more times so it is an opinion and I didn’t want to respond to that and fortunately by God’s grace my bat did that. Did he say sorry? I don’t want all that. But I did tell him when I met him in Durban in 2010 when I working out in gym and he said ‘this is the secret of your success’ and I said ‘you have conveniently changed sides’ and I have put that in my book. It is not that I am hiding it. Nitin Patel was standing next to me when I told him that. Mentor role to younger players after 2007 I have always treated all the members from that period like my younger brothers and I had told them that anything that they wanted they should knock on the door even at 12 in the night and we can have a discussion on batting or bowling or whatever. I am more than happy to sit with you and spend as much time as possible. And it is not only them but also a few other guys who were older than me we have had good discussions and I have always believed that a good team will always have good friends and if you are good friends it reflects. And a good dressing room atmosphere reflects out on the field and that is what I believed in. And that is what we say when John [Wright] was there and Gary [Kirsten] was there. [caption id=“attachment_1789689” align=“alignleft” width=“380”] Sachin said he has a lot of expectations from his team mates. AFP[/caption] Your expectations from team mates I expected certainly quite a bit from my team mates and that is how it should be. When I was scoring runs people were expecting more from me and it is a healthy sign. And when people didn’t expect me I would be worried. It is not a place where I wanted to be and I believe that my team mates should also be in the same place. It helps to bring the best out of me and it is a never ending process of getting better in life. Whatever you want to do in life you want to continue getting better and if that stopped then it would hurt me and I would push the players to continue harder. I think it is a fair expectation. 2007 you spoke about Chappell I didn’t speak much to be honest. During my career I don’t think I made such statements because I always and it was a sort of unwritten rule in the family that you just focus on the game and don’t think about all these things, you just put all your energy into thinking how to score runs. My family has been my strength and in good times as well in bad times they have stood by me. In testing times the family was with me and that is what you call your core strength. Cope with burden of expectations and dilemma of quitting after 2011 WC I don’t think there was any dilemma of whether to continue or not. I just wanted to live that moment and not shift my focus from something I had waited for 21 years to somewhere else. I felt that I deserved to do more. And that stage I just wanted to live in the present and enjoy being World champions which I waited and worked for 21 years. I was doing well, I was the highest run getter for our team and the second highest run getter in the tournament so I felt it was something that I wanted to do. And retirement also I wanted that to happen once in my life, to play my last game. I discussed at home and I said I just want to walk off the field once in my life and not do it every now and then so people get confused, whether it was the ODI or Test retirement. I just wanted to do it once in life and I am glad it worked out the way I wanted it to. On Pressure The pressure was there obviously and it is good to have that pressure. There have been testing moments, certain spells that I have played; certain times that I have walked out to bat were not normal, certain times I have batted I have felt the pressure. On the book I have been working on this for three years. I felt that all the effort that had been put was worth it when I saw the book being completed and everything that we wanted to select, we had selected it and I felt quite satisfied.