Deccan Chargers vs CSK is like India vs Bangladesh
And we know how that turned out in the Asia Cup don't we. But on the whole Deccan Chargers will struggle says our fan blogger Ant Sims.
Oh dear. I should have known it was going to be a tough season ahead for Deccan Chargers when they allowed every girl and her stilettos to fan blog for them. You know that same fan blog which stated that you won't get any statistics here, no siree, because she is female and doesn't know any.
That's how the pre-season build up started. Forget the auction where they bought Darren 'Not the new Lara' Bravo - a player who'll miss the entire first half of the season due to national duties and a guy whose form has seen better days (in fact, Brian Lara's left baby toe has seen better form), forget that they lost Pragyan Ojha and that their whole management is reportedly a bit of a mess and that they might need to sell some assets like Lalit Modi had to sell his blimp.
Whoever pulls the strings of the cricket comedy show thought he'd add another twist to the ever-infuriating tale of being a Deccan Chargers supporter: Ishant Sharma ruled out due to ankle surgery.
Sure, Sharma has only been moderately effective, kind of like using a piece of paper to fan yourself with in the blistering summer heat, but he still managed to get the job done, taking 11 wickets in 12 matches at an average of 28.5. Not too bad for a bit of gully cricket every second day.
The season hasn't even started and already it looks like Chargers are on the back foot – and not in an oh-look-at-that cover drive from Kumar Sangakkara kind of backfoot. The oh, no Dale Steyn has gotten right up in his face with a 149km/h delivery and knocked him off his balance and onto his own stumps, kind of backfoot.
Just to make sure Deccan fans are aware of the hard times ahead, they’re facing defending champions Chennai Super Kings in their season opener. A bit like pitting India against Bangladesh in the Asia Cup and we know how that turned out, oh wait, nevermind.
Of course, the IPL is nothing like Bangladesh vs India in an Asia Cup match at all — in T20 cricket, teams don’t get beaten fair and square, they simply get lucky in the pyjama party lottery.
And the Chargers are no strangers to luck, well, at least their squad members aren’t. Like that time Sangakkara was dropped by Smith on 0 and scored a match-winning 100 in Durban or when he picked up that $20 note in the street. Or like JP Duminy marrying that beautiful blonde. Or Chris Lynn’s paid holiday in India last year, ah yes, luck!
Write off the Chargers off at our own peril, but some will depend on the rabbit’s foot, even though that didn’t really work out for the rabbit.
It’s going to be a long season, longer than that time when Sri Lanka batted South Africa into the ground. Pass the sedatives, buckle up and pick your poison, Chargers fans, or you might want to consider sticking needles into your corneas instead.
And hey, if it all goes terribly awry, you can laugh it off and say that the IPL is a joke anyway…
Ant has the supernatural gift of supporting teams who choke or constantly lose. Some say she is a masochist. 'Some' might be right. She blogs at wicketmaiden.com and Tweets as @mspr1nt
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