For Australia, Shane Watson is the embodiment of fool’s gold

The term ‘fool’s gold’ refers to something that is attractive and enticing but, actually, not worth very much. In sports, there are certain players who embody fool’s gold. The type whose infinite talent could materialise at any moment but, instead, they frequently disappoint. Their precocious talent allures and ensures continual selection despite underwhelming output. Selectors find it hard to discard them because so much time and energy has been invested. In Australian cricket, Shane Watson is the embodiment of fool’s gold. As his 10th anniversary of his Test debut approaches, Watson remains the enigma of Australian cricket. At his best, he provides the right balance to the side with both bat and ball in a way that all-rounders like James Faulkner, Glenn Maxwell and Moises Henriques can probably never realistically achieve. Mitch Marsh is Watson circa early 2000s, the budding superstar all-rounder Australian cricket has been craving seemingly for an eternity. The younger Marsh has time on his side to prove himself, but Watson, now aged 33, is unlikely to steadily improve. [caption id=“attachment_2029027” align=“alignleft” width=“380”] Shane Watson. AP[/caption] After a decade’s worth of mediocrity in Test cricket, Watson’s true talent seems to lie in clinging to his spot in the Australian team. He looks like a quality Test batsman… for 30 minutes. Maybe an hour. Then gone. Nearly always the same wretched way. But just when you think Watson’s career is over, he rises again. He does just enough. His competent yet frustrating performance during the Boxing Day Test was archetypal Watson in the Test arena. On Boxing Day, after Steve Smith won the toss on a flat MCG pitch, Australia lost David Warner early providing the perfect platform for the embattled number three to resurrect his sinking Test career on Australian cricket’s grandest stage. Watson looked engaged, as evidenced by sharp running between the wickets. Rotating the strike has always been a weakness for a player whose natural rhythm is either boundary or nothing. Watson was combining well with Chris Rogers, as the duo blunted an inconsistent Indian attack. He effortlessly raced into the 30s off nearly a run a ball. But anyone familiar with Watson’s career knew he was in his danger period. In 100 dismissals in Test cricket, Watson has been out 34 times between scores of 20-49. It’s as if he mentally zones out once set. On his 50th delivery faced, Watson, who had compiled an attractive 37, tentatively poked at a full delivery from Mohammed Shami, but his thick edge was dropped by a fumbling Shikhar Dhawan at slip. The reprieve did not harden his resolve. Watson suddenly looked like a batsman mired in quicksand. It is unfathomable how he so often transforms from a “carnivorous man-beast”, as ESPNcricinfo’s Jarrod Kimber once coined him, to an insecure and incompetent batsman within minutes. Instead of striking the ball with purpose and moving his feet with intent, Watson starts to rummage for runs. Watson scratchily passed 50 but was dismissed soon after when he inexplicably tried to sweep a straight Ravi Ashwin delivery to once again be out LBW, for the 27th time in his Test career. The second dig was an opportune time for Watson to score some belated runs. With Australia holding a handy 65-run lead after another shocking Indian batting collapse, it was a chance for Watson to take advantage with the pressure slightly off, and replicate his memorable second innings evisceration of England and a hapless Jimmy Anderson during the Third Test in Perth last summer. But Watson only mustered an unconvincing 17 before limply nicking a good length Ishant Sharma delivery. He never looked settled and appeared indecisive whether to dictate or play out the bowling. In his 55th Test, Watson averages just 35 and has scored only four hundreds. He has been experimented in nearly every position in the top seven, but has been unable to carve a niche with modest results as an opener (average 42 from 50 innings) his highpoint, suggesting he’s most comfortable when facing the new ball and sans waiting around in the dressing room. Watson’s inconsistency, and a penchant by team heavies to find him a permanent batting position, has been a disruptive force in a developing side and forced emerging players to cater for him, such as Usman Khawaja, Shaun Marsh and, sadly, Phillip Hughes. But Watson’s all-round prowess makes him a more difficult selection quandary. In India’s imposing first innings, Watson was able to deliver 16 overs to help provide invaluable support for Mitchell Johnson and Ryan Harris, who are both aged in their 30s. He was also able to prize out Murali Vijay, who has been a thorn in Australia’s attack in recent years. Watson’s generally accurate and reliable bowling is the antithesis of his erratic batting. And Watson does provide experience to a fledgling batting order and is a reliable slip fielder, despite an embarrassing blunder on day three when he dropped a rampaging Virat Kohli. Still, the statistics don’t provide much comfort for Watson or his shrinking army of supporters. In his last 20 Tests, Watson has averaged about 32 and taken 13 wickets at more than 50. Australia’s dearth of talented young batsmen has helped prolong Watson’s career. Despite his failings with the bat, and dubious temperamental behaviour - which led Australia’s high performance manager Pat Howard to last year label Watson “sometimes a team player” - he’s managed to cement a position for the best part of five years. Simply, it’s hard to refute the inevitable - Watson will continue to perplex himself and infuriate fans for as long as he is selected. The match-winning player in the coloured clothing has kryptonite laced in his whites. Watson, who boasts the dubious moniker ‘Twatto’ on social media, has become a punch line for his delusional penchant of challenging plumb LBWs, brooding body language and, most importantly, frustratingly teasing with his underwhelming performances. But Watson deserves some pathos for the derision. After all, he’s not picking himself. Maybe the reason Watson can’t excel at Test level is because he’s not meant to. He’s just an average batsman. It is the selectors who need to make a final judgment on Watson’s Test career. If they persist with him, the selectors are only fooling themselves.