BCCI, we cannot beat them so let's bully them

Ah… the spirit of sportsmanship and all that jazz! Please give us a break. Six consecutive defeats overseas, no less. If someone expects us to be genial and sportsmanlike after that, God knows what he smokes after leaving bed. A defeat it is and as the ritual goes, whipping boys must be found and flogged. The team is full of greatness, so we must be careful. Of course, the prime culprit is Australia. Despite playing with a second rung team, it clobbers the team of greats. There has to be something hideous in it. [caption id=“attachment_174736” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=" Virat Kohli reacts after he fell to James Pattinson. AP"] [/caption] The Australians are known to play mind games, which our media manages to catch brilliantly even when there’s none. If some ancient Aussie player desperate for some relevance claims that the local team went to a loo, our media smells a huge conspiracy. When they praise Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid and Virender Sehwag effusively we know its an effort to make them complacent. If they laud some promising local bowler, we know it is an effort to make the Indians nervous. Of course, the Australians are at fault. They play mind games with the poor Indians, they bowl too fast, they hit our bowlers too hard, they sledge and they even bowl bouncers. That is not the way hosts should treat guests. But we cannot blame them too much, particularly when there’s no controversy involving umpiring decisions. Our players are holy cows. So let’s blame BCCI, the owner of the stable instead. We know it won’t have sporting wickets in India but with all that incredible power, why cannot it force other countries to have flat pitches? It is common knowledge that Indian players find their record-breaking touch in dust bowls. It becomes a level playing field when the host countries have lifeless pitches. Next time India tours Australia or England or New Zealand, BCCI must instruct their boards to behave and do away with green tops and hard, bouncy tracks. It’s a bit unfair to players of other countries. But after some cribbing they would be learn to adjust to new realities. It’s possible some won’t. But with BCCI so powerful and the team losing so badly, who cares? There’s the option of back-channel negotiation with foreign players too. If you don’t mind how you play against Indians, your IPL contract is off. With that goes your earning from sponsorships and other avenues in India. BCCI, which could go against the world’s opinion on the Umpire Decision Review System (UDRS), could do this without a sweat. IPL, after all, is its own baby and it decides who plays and who does not. We still have not discussed what Indian players miss the most on away tours: that feeling of home. It is easier to hit sixes and fours with the thousands of Indian fans shouting and egging the players on for more. Why cannot half the seats in stadia abroad be reserved for Indians? BCCI can tie up with some tour operators to make profits out of the exercise. The team, of course, would benefit on the side. Flat pitches, home out of home crowd and rivals under stress. That should ensure that India loses none of its matches ever. By now, we know for sure that India cannot win matches outside the sub-continent. If IPL is destroying cricket, it does not bother the board. It won’t have programmes to groom players and take care of their fitness; neither would it test the calibre of players by providing them competitive wickets. So the best option left for it, and in which it excels, is to arm-twist opponents. We hope BCCI plays a pro-active role here. What is all that wealth for if it cannot win a few matches? Forget that nonsense about sportsman spirit. After six defeats nothing matters.