The 10 commandments, as redefined by our politicians

Now that parliament has unanimously rejected the idea of using cartoons to make fun of politicians, it is time to frame a new batch of 10 commandments on their behalf so that our democracy works better, and in tune with political correctness.

Here they are (with due apologies to Moses):

And our MPs and Politicians spake all these words on the 60th anniversary of parliament, saying….

1: We are thy Lords, thy elected or unelected Political Gods. Thou shalt have no other Gods before us. (Anna Hazare and Baba Ramdev, please note).

2: Thou shalt not make unto thee any cartoon image, or any likeness of anything that is enacted in parliament, or in public life by us. We, the Lords, thy Gods, are jealous Gods, visiting the iniquity of cartoonists upon the children of Class XI unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate us.

3: Thou shalt not take the name of the MPs, thy ministers, in vain; for the Lords will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain. Thou shalt also not mock Gods of the past, be they Ambedkar, or Gandhi or Shivaji, or anyone so named by thy Lords of today, thy Political Gods.

4: Remember the Election Year, to keep it holy. For four years thou shalt labour as usual, without complaint, without expectations. But in the fifth year, it is the year of thy Lords, thy politicians and MPs. In that year, thou shalt receive goodies like NREGA, Food Security, free laptops, and free TVs, so that thou shalt do thy duty and get thy MPs re-elected.

5 Honour thy MPs and thy Ministers like they are thine own Fathers and Mothers. Thou shalt not question their authority to interpret history, define insults to the community, and decide what is in thy interest.

6 Thou shalt not kill thy enthusiasm to vote for thy political Lords, no matter what they do for thee or thy community.

7: Thou shalt not commit political adultery at election time by siding with opposition MPs or political parties

8: Thou shalt not steal another’s caste or community vote.

9: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy elected MP during election-time. Thou shalt always sing his praises and help other voters see reasons.

10: Thou shalt not covet a house, a job, 24-hour water and power supplies, decent roads and public transport, or anything other than what thy Lords, thy MPs, deign to give during election time.